Stopped off at the gas station today. The immaculate Speedway on the way to work. An elderly woman flags me down as I'm beginning to fill my car up. Her pump is beeping. We figure out she needs to put the nozzle back on the machine and then start the process over again. She does and it works. But I couldn't help, as I filled up my car, wonder how she had gotten to that point. And the answer was pretty clear.
Before I even insert my credit card, the gas pump posits to me: Are you a Speedy Rewards Member? I search my mind for the occurent belief to answer the question. No, I say. And hit the blue, "NO", button. Then, I slide my card in. I remove it, as I am directed by the gas pump. Then another question: Would you like a car wash? As it's currently raining, and I'm getting wet along with my car, I say "NO" again. Then, yet another question: Would you like to try 2 Nathan's Jumbo Hot Dogs for $2? No. I'm going to Wendy's. Plus I don't want a jumbo dog. Maybe a regular. But I don't have that option. I, again, press "NO". So far, I think the way I've answered these questions makes me smarter than a fifth-grader -- I think. I was waiting for: Would you like to buy gas today? Y/N.
From this point on I can fill up my car with gas. But as for that elderly lady, I think she either a) answered incorrectly or b) wasn't expecting the gas pump pop quiz. So what's the deal with this? Why can't I just fill up my car with gas? Why can't I just pump and go? The answer to these questions can't be discovered by pressing a simple red or blue button.
But if I ever own a gas station, I'd have some fun with that annoying feature. Like: Do you believe in God? Y/N. Are you happy today? Y/N. Is blue your favorite color? Y/N. If you had a million dollars, would you give it all away for an extra year of life? Y/N. Have you ever been to Easter Island? Y/N. Do you watch PBS? Y/N. Is Seinfeld the greatest television show ever? Y/N. Do you know who shot J.R.? Y/N. Have you ever read a good book? Y/N. Can you dunk a basketball? Y/N. Would you give your life to save a complete stranger? Y/N. Do Leprechauns really exist? Y/N. Is there such a thing as a tesseract? Y/N.
I'd ask questions that make people think. That make people smile. That are just plain stupid. Just think how accurate these questions could be to get the correct gauge (note the pun) of the American public. Better than phone surveys and exit polls and CNN/N.Y. Times/Women's Day polls.
Instead, now that you pretty much have to pre-pay for gas (which is annoying 'cause I used to fill up my car then go inside and get a Frappucino and Chocolate Chip Mini-Bites and pay for it all at once. That way, the Mrs. never knew I was snacking or "eating breakfast out when there's cereal and coffee cake at home". And it all got counted against the gas - which we always over budget for - in the budget.).
One day I'll choose the red button and see how deep the rabbit hole goes, though. I'll get that car wash one day.
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5 comments:
Don't you think that if every gas station had there "pop-up" questions, as you put it, shouldn't this be the way to poll people about political qustions? Like all of those polls you hear about in the news but I can not tell you one person that I know of that has ever been polled. Everyone who owns a car has to get gas at some point and that is the majority of the nation. You might be on to something!!!
melissa
By the way, I used the wrong spelling of "there". Just wanted to point that out before you did.
mel
I usually let spellings slide on blogs. But yeah, that's what I'm thinking... this would be a much more accurate than normal news polling. And you could use it to poll on some national hot button topic too,.
Man this is great, how funny are you. I was looking out of my office window this morning and this lady drives into my parking lot and I’m looking at this car and then I see it…this lady left the pump with the gas line still in her car. She gets out still talking on her cell, takes it out goes back to the driver side with line in hand and opens the trunk and puts the line into her trunk. Gets back into her car then gets back out puts the gas cap on and closes it up, gets back into her car and leaves. I wonder what her poll questions were. This was all by 11am. Who know what the night will bring. Is the moon full – Or maybe it’s because “they put a man on the moon”
As entertaining as that might be for you, it would be the most irritating gas station ever and you would lose all your business to the less annoying station across the street. It would be funny though.
I have privatized my blog. Only authorized blogspot users can access it with their google account.
The last straw was an anonymous comment that said my latest post was "tmi." If they haven't caught on by now, it IS a running monologue of my inner-thoughts.
But since you are a fellow blogger, please continue to stop by from time to time.
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