Friday, March 30, 2007

Long Beautiful Hair

It was time for a haircut this week. Both for myself, the Mrs. and for Isaac. Haven't done the latter yet, we're still deciding on the hairstyle to give him. We're trying to avoid giving him a dew like mine -- otherwise he'll be stuck with it for the rest of his life, seeing as how he's my kid and I've had the same haircut for 15 years now.

Well, not exactly. Summer of my senior year in college, I was anxious for a haircut but had no money. My mom offered to cut it, but on her time. That wasn't a fair compromise for me, it was long and it was a hot summer. So I took the razor and went to the bathroom to begin cutting my own hair. You can see where this is going. I forgot to put a cover on the razor and it slipped off the comb and took off a large chunk of hair, right to the scalp. From there my mother acquiesced -- but she was not happy. Not at all. She shaved my head reluctantly, the whole time stewing at her foolish and impatient 21-year-old son who saw the whole thing as a joke(how else could I see it? I had no choice). And since then I've shaved it one other time. Two years ago the wife did it. I had a steady job and had wanted to do it again for awhile. And the thing is, it looked pretty good too.

Outside of those two instances is I've had the same haircut for 15 years. It used to be a Caesar cut. Now it's a "#2 on the sides and point cut on top". "Point-cutting" is something my stylist (and by stylist I mean the lady who gives me my $12 hair-cut) suggested. I've got to admit, it looks pretty good these days. Like today. Perfect hair day.

I envy the people who can change their hairstyles and it look great. I've tried to grow my hair out. It doesn't look good at all. One guy I work with rarely cuts his hair or his beard. In the summer he keeps everything shaved. In the winter, he grows everything out. An old friend used to do the same. He rotated seasonally between very long hair and a shaved head. I envied that. I still do. Though I never envied his premature greying.

In Sunday School growing up I remember being taught that God knows the number of hairs on your head. And I thought, "Wow. I wonder how many I have." It was a really cool concept. Now, well, the idea strikes me as a kind of Divine Autism. God acting like a sort of supernatural Rain Man. Honestly though, what should one expect from God? If God is God we can assume he either invented or established mathematics (by this I mean, is there a case where 2+2 could not of equaled 4?). So, we should expect God to be good with numbers and with counting. One exception to this idea is, of course, the Feeding of the 5,000. There was some kind of bending of the rules of mathematics in that story. Or, maybe, the perfection of mathematics.

And if God knows the exact number of hairs on our head, does He then know the exact length and cut they should be? In Heaven will we have the perfect hair cut? Will there be Barbershops and Hair Salons in Heaven? Does God get as frustrated with us as we do when we're having a bad hair day? Or suffering from a bad haircut? We know God as the Divine Doctor, can we also identify Him as the Divine Barber?

If so, I hope God knows how to point-cut.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

there won't be barbershops because when we die and go to Heaven, assuming one is a beleiver, we lose our earthly bodies and get a new spiritual and you probably would't care about such a mediocre thing such as a haircut. You will be praising God continuously and bringing Him all the glory!

Anonymous said...

One of the cosmic questions of all time, can 2+2 = anything else but four. The answer is yes:

x+x=y, or, 2x=y, or, x=2/y

2/y + 2/y = y, or,

2(1/y + 1/y) = y
1/2 (y +y) = 1/y
1/2(2y)=1/y
y=1/y
2/y+2/y=1/y
y/2+y/2=y
2y/2=y
y=y

Thus, the only solution for x+x=y, is, y=y, thus, 2+2 cannot equal four.

J Dog said...

You just have to moose the hell out of it... straight up.

AaronG said...

I'm not a math person, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.... so it seems all you've proven is that

y=y if x+x=y.

I don't think you've proven that x+x does not = y. All you've shown is that if 2+2=4, Then, that number, y, or, 4 is equal to itself. Which is exactly what should be the case.

Also, I think that one of your equation solutions, y=1/y is logically inconsistent with itself.

Anonymous said...

That's what you get for staying at a Holiday Inn. y=1/y is not a solution but a formula. Your thinking, for example, 4=1/4, which is not so much logically inconsistent as it is the whole equating itself to one of its parts. In the above, 2+2=1/y, which, y=1/4, that x+x, or, 2+2 does not equal 4 rather 1/4.

Perhaps staying at a higher rated hotel much help

AaronG said...

No, I still think I'm right...let's go back to the original equation, x+x=y.

If x+x = y then, we can substitute y into the original equation for x+x.

So, y is then equal to y, (1) y=y.

But (1) can only be the case if (2) x+x=y.

So for (1) to be the case, (2) must also be the case. And plugging in the numbers, 4, y, can only be equal to itself if and only if 2+2 = 4.

Again, all you have shown is what is the case is exactly what should be case.

And it's not my fault where I stayed. Hotwire booked the hotel. I would've prefered the Hampton Inn and the free continental breakfast.

Eric said...

Anonymous,
Just to throw another kink in your system. You began with saying that x+x=y, or x=2/y. Fatal flaw. You should have said, x=y/2.

AaronG said...

Thanks Eric. I knew I could count on you to help me with the math. Take that Anonymous.

Note to readers, eric got a 5 on the AP Calculus Test in High School and kicked my butt on the GRE. He won't brag about it, but I will for him.

Anonymous said...

Oh great 2 on 1.
b1 to c3 ?

J Dog said...

Is any of this going to be on the test? Will we have to know pi? Mmmmm pi the tasty number.

Anonymous said...

math nerds

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Like Jeremy said, you need to "moose" it, not "mousse" it.

My question is, how would you ever get a moose to stand still for that?

And I'm just glad I still have some hair to cut.

Anonymous said...

Okay (y)S figure this one out
what is the least amount of numbers
when added together will give you
the no.144
The only sane one

Eric said...

huh? is that a complete thought?

Anonymous said...

The answer to to everything in the universe is 42!

AaronG said...

Ah yes...the number of roads a man must walk down.