Saturday, March 03, 2007

Death Cab For Squirrel

Recently I saw a squirrel get killed. It first fell out of a tree and onto the street. That was funny enough for me. It's like seeing someone trip and fall. Squirrels live in trees; they know how to climb like people know how to walk. Sometimes, I guess, squirrels forget.

Then the squirrel, slightly stunned at this point, saw a car coming towards him. First the squirrel hopped to the left. Then it went right. Then left again. Finally, the fateful decision that, for a second, probably tasted a little like Turkish Delight. The squirrel went right again. Bounding across the median, just narrowly missing the front left tire of an SUV and out of harms way. Then it ran headlong into the back left tire of a yellow VW bug. It careened up into the air and landed. Stiff. Bouncing like a baseball on cement. I swerved to miss it, in the chance it could still be alive. The car behind me made sure it wasn't.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

THAT IS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah! You know what this means! It's MOXIE time.

Anonymous said...

Well, the squirrel we tried to evict from our house succeeded in living until another time. It was like Steve Irwin against the rabbit from MPandTHG with the latter once again winning. I knew it was time to call in the pro when said squirrel launched an ariel attack at my head and I fell backwards into a table.
Rocky 1 Me O

J Dog said...

Did you go back and pick it up? Where I come from that can be called dinner.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of when I was a kid...sitting in the living room when all of a sudden we'd here this ZAP! come from outside. Sure enough...another squirrl life ended with an electric jolt from the power box.

Anonymous said...

remember many years ago while on a hunting trip shooting and eating a squirrel. the taste was awfull, i would not suggest anyone try that.