It's not exactly a crisis of faith, or even my "dark night of the soul", but it's just after 6 AM and I'm blogging. Seems I've been struck with this realization (coming after I realized I shut the alarm off on the Mrs., making her late for work) that I may very well be becoming a determinist. Of course, this thought struck me after I had spent most of the night dreaming about my brother and I swimming underneath a plane traveling along the water getting to land in Washington state and me feeling terrible about losing his Blockbuster card. All that to say I'm not sure how valid this idea is but it was certainly worth me working it out.
I've long struggled with the free will vs. determinism debate. As my dad said long ago, there are times when both are valid and provide comfort. And I like that idea (does that make me a compatibilist?). Most of the time I've fallen alongside the free will-ers. Asserting this point of view better equips me to explain, for instance, the problem of evil - arguably the most difficult problem facing the Christian (outside of homoousis -- an idea I can't even touch in the middle of day with a full night sleep and dreams of sugar plum fairies behind me).
However, the thought struck me that I have become a determinist. For example, there are several rather large decisions facing me in the coming months (work, kid, school, whether to be a Red Sox fan) and my general attitude seems to be one of "well if it's to happen, it will". That's not to say I've not try to take control of any of those decisions, but still, the prevailing belief is not to spend time in such decisions - to assert control (whatever that means) in making them. Four or five years ago I would have prayed long and hard about such decisions (not that I'm not praying about them now) and spent time trying to discern God's will. Now, I'm not sensing that I am doing that well enough; so I fear that has made me a determinist. Such a paradigm shift has allowed me to see how one puts such a belief into action (again, when deciding which side of the debate to come on to originally, the idea of putting such ideas into practice was challenging). Fixing the problem is easier: spend time in prayer, spend time with God, read the Bible, etc. It's the realization that is eye opening (I say that not just because it's after 6 AM and I'm blogging).
The thing of it is: If I hadn't have come to such an awakening, would I be the type of dad that would just choose any type of Peanut Butter? Or would I use my free will and choose JIF? So let's just say I'm glad, for my kids sake, that I've identified this now and rest assured, my kid'll be eating JIF.
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7 comments:
it doesn't sound like you're a determinist, I think you're just lazy
eric
nice.
Yes, you are a determinist. You did not realize that the comments you made in your blog determined my response as I read it. And here is my answer: I am using my free will not to provide an answer that will determine your next answer that will determine my next response etc...etc...
It's clear you're getting old because you are making no sense...that's what happens when you turn 50.
Just wanted to let you know the company I am in:
Artificial intelligence is 50 years old this summer
I have a reamedy for your condition read a Clark pinnock book a night and call me in a week.
Open Theist? I'll have to think about it once I finish school this semester.
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