Monday, July 07, 2008

A Room With A View

Do scientists get excited about a movie that gets science right? A movie or book on the Uncertainty Principle? Do they applaud it? Give a resounding "Yes" and a golf hi-five? What about people who work in cafeterias? Are they thrilled when an art form gets their job right? Were glove manufacturers excited about American Pastoral?

It behooves the artist to get these things right. It substantiates their work while reverberating to the job or task or hobby itself. It illumines all.

Now I get excited when God is mentioned and mentioned correctly. Not pigeon-holed or hyberbolied or stereotyped. But mentioned with a sort of awe and enthusiasm and appreciation and respect. I get quite excited about correct theology in literature, film, song, poem.

Here's the thing about artists: they build houses with their materials. Rooms, hallways, stairwells, kitchens of words, lyric, song, shot. They set it all up and have an open house. I'm in the field, maybe nearby, staring up at the clearest and most open of skies. The sun is shining and I could never be warmer or cooler or want of anything. So when I go into the house, it's refreshing and assuring and hopeful to have a room, with however small a window, looking out onto that same sky and warm sunshine.

Sometimes that's all you can ask for. And you'd be surprised how much light can shine.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

So There's Some Uncertainty

That was the byline on cnn.com yesterday. Uh, click. Come to find out there's this particle collider, and it could destroy the world. Seems it's rather large at 17 miles across and 330 feet below the surface. Seems it cost almost $10 billion dollars. And it seems it could destroy the world. Have you heard of the Large Hadron Collider?

Needless to say I've been reading up on strangelets, micro-black holes and every other wiki accessible theory applicable out of quantum mechanics. So what are the odds the world could get sucked into a black hole or turn into a lump of steaming space poo a la Vonnegut's Ice-Nine scenario? Well, there's a nonzero chance.

What exactly is a nonzero chance? 1 in 50 million. The odds of winning the lottery. But, uh, people win the lottery. Here's another breakdown of the odds.

Of course, in a brilliant piece in the NY Times on this, there's also a chance for Don Quixote to make a return. You have to love the Uncertainty Principle.

Aside: I'm reading the NY Times article last night and what does the first line encompass? A quote from the book I'm about to read that I quoted from yesterday. It's an obscure book, so referencing it is quite random. Coincidences like that... well... it's always a little fascinating.

Monday, June 30, 2008

On Putting Down A Book

I've never been one who believed finishing a book proved something. I'm from the Costanza school. The most recent evidence to this belief was Dune, which I gave up on after 150+ pages. As a fact, there have actually been very few books I have given up, sent away to the literary bench.

Thursday I was prepared to give up on Atonement. I knew the plot (or lack there of, depending on the critic). I had seen the movie. Though that's a simple reason for abandonment, sometimes the writing pulls you in despite your objectivity. But such wasn't the case here either. I kept reading. Over the weekend I poured into 300+ pages. And I'm left with the same conclusion: I can put this book down and very much want too. It isn't particularly great. It's good. Introspective. A character study. But it's too extraneous. Too preachy and condemning. Too much prose devoid from substance. And most of all it's too long. At almost 500 pages and rather rambling around it's simple central thesis, you'd think it'd be shorter.

All of this is sufficient a reason, in my belief, to abandon the book. But why can't I? Why do I feel the need to finish this book? I want to move on. I've got another book lined up on the bookshelf, Love in the Ruins by Walker Percy, with a great opening line:

Now in these dread latter days of the old violent beloved U.S.A. and of the Christ-forgetting Christ-haunted death-dealing Western world I came to myself in a grove of young pines and the question came to me: has it happened at last?

That's a fantastic opening line. But still I hang on to complete this book that long ago became banal. Still I hang on, not expecting any of these reason to be atoned for in the book's final pages. After the opening line of Love in the Ruins I fought every urge to keep reading. Feeling as though I was cheating something by doing that. The book, it seems, will not let me go. It's stalking me.

Actually, it's more like a song that gets stuck in your head.

Didn't know books could do that.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

What Would You Do

So the Mrs. proposed a rather interesting question on a recent road trip: If you could do something else for your job, something very much different -- perhaps hinging on a regret of sorts from our youth (yes, we're that old these days!), what would it be? Now in the past, we've used this means of questioning to determine career direction. In fact, it was what first suggested to us a different career path for me (one I'm still working towards, mind you!). But in this context, current work happiness and future work happiness did not play a role. It was more simple and straightforward a proposition: What sounds cool and sounds like something you'd want to do?

My answer, to her somewhat surprise, was: work for the CIA. Of course, I'm too passive and possess the complete inability to fool anyone, so being an agent was not my intent. I supposed to her something at Langley in either the tech field or maybe even languages. Leading too my wishing I had spent more time learning languages as a youth.

And this is why the Mrs. and I work. For as much as we are different, we are alike in the cool, essential stuff. The same overarching abstract types of things govern the differences we espouse on a day-to-day basis.

The Mrs. too wished to be a translator. She figured to work in a hospital, being the person people of different cultures can turn to in a crisis. Having witnessed the compassion, comfort and strength the translators can show at her own hospital.

Of course, we went into our explanations for why we chose what we did (my reason, well, it'd be cool to say you work for the CIA. Wait! Can you say that?). I found in fascinating to think it through. To not think what you want to be doing now, but if circumstances were different, if you had taken a different step somewhere along the way, you wouldn't be entirely different than you are now, but you'd be different and doing something different. So what would that be?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Random Tidbits

So if I can't get a tan after being in the sun for 6 hours yesterday, and 12 over the past three days, there's no hope for me. None. A friend joked that Isaac had been in the womb for 9 months and he had more of a tan than I did. Sad, but true.

Isaac is saying his own name. While I don't think he identifies himself yet, the "I" association that differentiates our consciousness from animals, it's still hilarious. The other day he just kept screaming Isaac in the grocery store. I even got him saying it on the phone yesterday. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats that.

So glad the Celtics won. Banner 17. Fantastic. I am also so glad the playoffs are over. 2 month! 2 months I watched games every other night. It's been exhausting and seemingly worthless. I'm not belittling the greatness of the championship, but it felt more like winning a marathon than winning an all out sprint. The NBA. It's Fan-tastic.

Tiger's performance over the weekend: Best golf I've ever seen. Perhaps the single greatest sports performance (up there with MJ's Flu game) I've ever seen. That was worth it. As was the 9-holes I was inspired to play.

Set-up the hammock yesterday afternoon. I know I'm prone to hyperbole (especially in this post) but it's probably the most comfortable thing ever. I laid there for 20 minutes looking at the sky and rocked in the breeze.

The DVD/Surround Sound System broke. Much to my luck we are looking to get another one. Maybe we'll wait awhile. The iPod plays all our music. We don't watch many movies during the summer. I'm willing to wait. It's been sort-of nice. We'll see if I can get one on the cheap on the eBays.

And I'm reading Atonement. Apparently one of the best 100 books of the 20th Century (and slightly beyond). Not impressed so far -- nor was I with the film version. So I'm not expecting to finish it, we'll see.

Indiana Jones was terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Can't say that enough. Ugh.

One more thing: enjoy summer. Spend time outside, even just for walks. Drink cool drinks and indulge in a coffee on a cool evening. Don't be afraid to wear sweatshirts and shorts. Take the opportunities to be still -- those summer nights. Listen to the summer, it's got such nice things to say.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How Sweet, Sweet, Sweet It Really Is

There's not a lot to add. I can tell you where I was when the Celtic's drafted Paul Pierce and how I hugged Hep. Where I was when Reggie collapsed. How 15 wins sounded on the radio during the M.L. Carr year. The sound of Pitino's whining that quickly drowned the excitement he gave us that opening night against the 72-win Bulls. My confusion after last year's draft when we traded for Ray Allen. My downright, soul-shaking joy when we traded for Garnett weeks later. I can tell you, I can tell you, I can tell you.

There was much joy in my household last night. Phone calls were exchanged. Screaming. Chills. Quiet. More screaming. More chills. Bouncing up and down. Disbelief. Shock. Joy. Screaming. Screaming. Yes. Victory.

Winning it all is all. Winning like last night added a flavor to it by not merely winning, but by dominating the game. That was special and historical and memorable. KG, Allen, you guys played your life for that. Pierce, you played your life and your heart for that win, for this team. You deserve all it entails. You are champions.

I am wearing my Celtics shirt today. I am bouncing off the walls and annoying everyone. What more can I say?

The Boston Celtics have won their 17th NBA Championship. The Boston Celtics are World Champs. The Boston Celtics, The Boston Celtics, The Boston Celtics.

The Boston Celtics.

Monday, June 16, 2008

A Reflection On Father's Day

Yesterday was my second Father's Day. The 28th for my Dad. The 51st and 55+ for my grandfathers. I maintain the only thing that rivals being a Dad is being a Mom. The point being that having a child is the largest of little gifts. Wrapped in little smiles here and there, an occasional temper-tantrum and this feeling of more-than-responsibility.

Isaac's infused my life with an immeasurable joy and pride. I am at once teacher, disciplinarian, jester, comforter, entertainer, entertainee, duck and goose. That I love being a dad, that I well up with emotion when merely approaching the idea that I'm a father to this boy, this blue-eyed, yelling, screaming, pacifier throwing, doubled-over laughing, crying, pushing a toy lawnmower around for 2+ hours, child is my me.

The other night he had trouble sleeping. So I scooped him up before the tears could mount and sat with him in my arms. His grip on his green blanket was impenetrable as his breathing eventually slowed and the tears, watery and large, fell silently away. We sat there, like we do on occasion, for about 15 minutes and then I put him back in bed for the remainder of the night.

There's is a lot to fatherhood. But sometimes, that's all there is.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Weight Of Glory

It is another aside from the movie "review" I posted about yesterday. And it concerns the child's love as well. For the boy in the film, his goal, his achievement in love was to be to have this particular girl notice him. He believed she didn't even know his name and set about correcting that. After a fervent chase scene, he manages to stand before her only briefly. He calls out her name, she responds in kind. And the boy can say nothing else. He is rendered speechless. She has noticed him. That more happens later is moot as this is the culmination of his story. When he appears back before his father, he is smiling, content, awed. Being noticed by her was his ultimate.

The idea of being noticed recalls to mind C.S. Lewis' greatest piece of writing: The Weight of Glory:

We should hardly dare to ask that any notice be taken of ourselves. But we pine. The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret. And surely, from this point of view, the promise of glory... becomes highly relevant to our deep desire.

The promise of glory is the promise, almost incredible and only possible by the work of Christ, that some of us, that any of us who really chooses, shall actually survive that examination, shall find approval, shall please God. To please God...to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness...to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son—it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Actually, I Loved It

Caught a rom-com (read: romantic comedy) on TV the other night: Love Actually. Quite an impressive movie (a caveat: I would not have seen had it not been edited). All-star ensemble casts are endeavors that do not guarantee success, but this one worked. And worked well. What I was most impressed by was the adeptness with which the idea of love was handled. Love is a many splendid thing, to be sure. It wears many hats and guises. There's the classical categorization of love into 4 categories. Those were present in the movie, but so were the sub-fields. The unrequited loves. The marriage love. The romantic love that exists when the physical is stripped away and in fact, transcends that aspect of Eros (done in a very interesting and counter-intuitive way).

It was the child-like love that I most appreciated and enjoyed. The storyline ran through the movie like a spine -- suggesting the writer/directors belief that this was the love we are to show others. Born out of tragedy it presented the truest, simplest and ideal form of love. Love that has no fear, has no comprehension, has no concern for convention, no selfishness, no motives, no strings attached, no regrets. It was just love. And if it hurts in the end, so what: "Let's go get our heads kicked in by love." We saw, in that perspective, the freedom that love can give a person.

Love is a battlefield? Love lift us up where we belong? All you need is love? In the name of love? I'll be loving you forever? Love, love, love?

Yes. Actually.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Is Man A Myth?

I was reminded today of a funny aside in Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. When Mr. Tumnus appears, he is cradling a book bearing the title "Is Man A Myth?". Within the context of the story -- Lucy has walked through the wardrobe and into the white world of Narnia at winter-- the aside is humorous. A dose of irony in fact. But Lewis, whose series as a whole is laced with context and subtext, is suggesting a much more salient point than a smile or slight chuckle can capture.

At stake here, in the answer to the question, is not whether or not Lucy is real. Lewis is asking us a question of much more profundity. Long a studier of Greek, he delved heavily into the literary traditions of the culture. Most notably you will see this play out in Narnia superficially, like in fauns and centaurs. Myth, in such a culture does not imply falsity, a value we readily associate with anything involving that term. "Oh, that's just a myth!" we often cry. But for the Greeks, it simply involves the idea of a story. Prometheus getting his liver pecked out doesn't remotely intend to imply fact but rather to shed a truth upon or about something (and makes for a funny diary). But I am no connoisseur of Greek literary traditions, merely a lover of stories and tales.

Wonder for a moment on the new implication of this title: Is Man A Myth? Are we, simply and profoundly, a story? Played out in time, passed on through time? How important is it that we transfer and concern ourselves with the exactitude's of our livers being eaten out, metaphorically speaking? Is it rather more important that we use our lives, our stories, to shed a truth upon or about something? That we carry on our stories against a backdrop of the greatest of stories?

Getting back to the original irony of the scene, Mr. Tumnus had the question on one hand and the answer staring him in the face. Yet he does not nod in approval of having the question answered, instead he yells "Goodness, gracious me!". In one other famous myth I remember another who had the answer staring them down, the first words spoken that time were, "Mary".

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Green With Excitement

I realize commentary on the Celtics have little accompanied this blog. I've maybe mentioned the C's a handful of times in two years. One of those years gave me little to mention, though I did. Then was accused of jinxing which I think I may have. Regardless, this morning I am elated.

I grew up on the Red Sox and Celtics. More than I have ever played baseball, I have played basketball. Never organized, not always well -- but played at it's basic level. For the most part I have romanticized baseball in my pseudo-Updike-ian ways with an occasional longing to be A. Bartlett Giamatti. But basketball I have left alone and I am not sure why. Deny me not this truth in the presence of such a dearth: on my list of sports, basketball is #2 with a #1 ranking in sports to play (this list is made-up with little standards for ranking; in fact, I may have just made it up this morning to accommodate this post).

The only DVDs I own and have ever asked for involve the complete history of the Boston Celtics (complete with Classic Games) and Larry Bird's DVD (complete with Classic Games of which the 'Nique-Bird is included -- and trust me, having watched this game several times, the Pierce-LeBron thing wasn't even close). I have, in effect, re-imagined my childhood -- reconstructed it based on the Big Three, of whom whose greatness and passion and beauty I was too young to fully grasp and appreciate.

Consider the previous as evidence for my love of basketball and the Celtics despite my lack of "posting" on it. And allow we to wax for a moment another reason why I may not have mentioned it with such frequency.

Basketball is an individual sport. As much as I resemble and embody Bird and Magic's style of play, I recognize it is inherently individual. Baseball requires someone else to throw you the ball and you to hit it and another opposing player to not catch it. Football needs the help of several players to advance the ball and score. But all the goals in basketball are the sole responsibility of the person with the ball. Sure, cutting and picking and rebounding from teammates help in the long run. Yet it's simplest contribution to the glory of sport is the satisfaction only the individual can take when the ball goes through the hoop. At it's core, it is of the individual only. And when this is the case, not much can be said because it's post-modern, it's relative. It matters not what I can suppose or state, it matters only what you, the person with the ball, can effort.

I love basketball. Love scoring. Love passing. Love rebounding. Love getting bothered about a bad call. Love taking jumpers by myself in the gym. Practicing foul shots. Pretending there's three seconds on the clock. Thinking Bird or Jordan has given me the ball and suggested I might be the best in a moment, for a moment. I love basketball. I play it with Isaac's plastic balls and a makeshift hoop in the yard. With socks and the hamper. With trash and the trash can. And there's always a satisfaction when it goes in, a determination to make it go if I miss -- even if what I am throwing away is a dirty diaper.

So for the Celtics, my beloved and followed and pretended-upon Celtics, to make the Finals... To hit shots when they need to... To make passes and play defense when it's all of everything a player can give...Well, it is a joy reserved for those who have ever made a shot. A pleasure this morning that only a person who has ever rolled the leather through his hands and felt, if only for a second or two or three, that all time was about to expire and it was all up to you.

So here we go. Beat L.A.. Rebound. Play defense. Don't be too awed by Kobe -- leave that to the fans. And when the ball goes in the hoop or trash can or bucket or child's bed, love the game you are playing.

Go Celtics.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Alternate Version: How Isaac Got That Nasty Cut On His Neck

We walked along as steadily as a toddler allows. The road giving way to speed in places, treachery in others where the rocks jutted and mud, well, did whatever it is that mud does. Clump? Either way, the going, for the most part, was not easy. The woods of Maine piled high pines and maples on either side of our hike towards the "Monkey Bridge". As slow going as it was, Isaac was relentless in his pursuit of other family members ahead, and the greenery growing just off the beaten path. More often than not, as if he sensed danger or intrigue in the woods, he would be caught several steps into the underbrush. His sense of bravery showed itself early in those moments. A harbinger of the hero he would become.

Suddenly, out of the bark and wood to the right 100 yards down the path came charging a bear. At this point, Isaac and I were leading the way. I had run ahead with him on my shoulders and was just returning his little legs to the uneven terrain when the bear approached at an alarming rate. My initial reaction was to run, to grab Isaac and run. Isaac's initial reaction was also to run. But like his approach to squirrels, birds and dogs, it was to run towards the oncoming animal. Run he did, matching in proportion only the throbbing speed of the bear.

His courage and legs were aligned as they propelled him magnificently to the beast. He added the hand gesture he had recently learned: pointing. All this together threw the creature into a tailspin and it ceased his steady approach. In fact, it was the bear that froze as Isaac neared. In an unexplainable way, I was unable to catch up to Isaac. Either fear leadened my legs, or his courage emboldened his and he remained out of my grasp, out of my reach, and his actions beyond my worst of nightmares.

He came within yards of the creature, who remained locked in its spot of mud and rock. He, as he had been taught, made the sound of a bear. It was not loud but it was sure. Like a child he knew he was looking at a bear and knew the sound of that bear, but knew not, like us adults, the menacing and imposing will of it. The bear cocked his head and growled low and broken. It backed up a step, as if to run or leap or attack or cower. Isaac growled confidently again, the sound carrying out past his pointed finger to the hairy ears. The bear cowered for sure, but not before he extended his paw and claw like his foe. Then, with a mere flick of its frame, it reached and scratched Isaac beneath his chin before bounding off back into the forest. Isaac pointed and growled some more bearing the scar of his courage with a child-like obliviousness. It was a bear to him. To us it was fear, danger, death, and sheer terror. To him, it was a bear.

It is a three inch long laceration. A flesh wound only. But in the incision courage seeps out.

***This did not actually happen. True, we went on a hike in Maine over the weekend to the "Monkey Bridge" (a mere two steel cables over a creek) and we did walk through forests with the "threat" of bears (?). But we did not see any. Did not see any tracks or hear any noises resembling that of any creature (although Nate thinks he was tracking a deer). Isaac actually did cut his neck though. But it happened when he fell in a field of flowers -- wild flowers -- but flowers nonetheless.***

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Similes Of Children

Heard this at Church yesterday:

Child: I really like food. My favorite kind-a food is Chipotle Rice. (eyes widen) I love Chipotle Rice.

Adult: Do you love Chipotle Rice like you love your mother?

Child: (thinks for a moment; confused) No. I love it like I love Chipotle Rice.

And here's the reason I love children. We see them as misunderstanding the question. Silly children, we think. But we are misunderstanding the answer. Things are that simple. Each experience and delight, each pleasure and pain is contingent on and comparable to nothing else. It is it's very own experience. Everything, it seems to us they are foolishly saying in their naivete, is "the greatest ever". But to kids, getting a hit in a baseball game is as awesome and cool and memorable as just that. Getting a "A" is as successful as getting an "A".

As adults, in our vast "experience", we compare everything that happens to us to other things that have happened to us or to others like us. We categorize enjoyment so as not to be too overjoyed. We categorize pain so that we may illustrate our "perspective". We long to be mature in the end. To live out Aristotle's Golden Mean. And we are limiting the moments of our lives in the end. Nothing can ever be the greatest, we reason, for that has passed us by. "This was great, but not as good as that one time 5 years ago."

But one day, I think I'd like to sit down with some Chipotle Rice. I'd like to just get a hit. I'd like to just, with utter simplicity and detachment, be awed and overwhelmed and overjoyed without comparison.

To possess the spirit and similes of children.

The Grocery Store: What I Would Say To LeBron James If I Ran Into Him There

Wow. LeBron. You're pretty incredible. Pretty. Incredible. However, here's a couple of things to keep in mind (a la Kurt Vonnegut, but not really):

Commit to playing defense. You're an average defender. You can easily be above average. Like you worked on that mid-range jumper last off-season, work on defense this off-season.

Keep working on that shooting. It's getting better. And when you're on, you're on. But keep at it. You can only get better.

I've never seen a player like you. I've followed basketball since before you were born, and there's not been another player like you. And your passion is unmatched. You love this game. Remember that.

Stop whining. No disrespect intended. You get away with a lot offensively and defensively. Travels. Double-dribbles. Reach-ins. Fouls. Take the foul. You do it occasionally. Do it all the time.

Love the way you walked off the court yesterday. No congratulating the Celtics in the post-game. You stormed off. I've only ever seen Larry Bird do that. You'll get ripped for sportsmanship. But the bottom line is you play to win. Don't EVER take losing lightly. Take it personally. Keep doing exactly what you did.

I've never seen a player like you. I've followed basketball since before you were born, and there's not been another player like you. And your passion is unmatched. You love this game. Remember that.

Whatever happens in the next couple of years, don't play the game for the money. You will be the best player ever. Easily. But the game is such you'll need just a little bit of help at times. Keep that in mind. Let them pay you, but let them be able to pay other players to help you too. You'll make your money and legend in the end.

You are an incredible basketball player. I love watching you play. I will never question you're enthusiasm for the game. Never question your passion. But don't ever give me the opportunity too. Don't ever let up. Don't ever forget you are playing a game you've loved your entire life. Don't let that reality slip from your eyes or your heart. Play to win and play to play the game.

You will be the best. Make no mistake. You will be the best. Don't stop though, even when you are.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

My Dentist: A Character Sketch

Short. Hovering around 5 feet tall. Salt and pepper hair. Thin. Early 50s. Small hands and eyes. Impeccably ironed scrubs with turtlenecks on underneath. Dark, thick black glasses with a device that gives her singular, zoomed-in vision attached. When she looks at you, she tilts her head down, not up and therefore cannot avoid looking through the device. Anecdotes and thoughts are only complete in her head, yet they make sense if you listen carefully and casually. She is a woman of many details but wastes no time with them. Her humor is simple, straightforward, but has to be thought about to be found funny. It must be placed directly back against the gait and posture and tone of this woman. She is passionate about her job, loves dentistry. Leads well, her employees speak openly of their frustration with her antics and her personality and incomplete complete thoughts illustrating a lack of fear towards her meaning she's a good boss. And she's very good at what she does. Honest with her patients, genuine as well. She's also a little crazy and it comes through in the pitch of her voice, in its pace and delivery which feels a hair too fast and high for most conversation.

I hate the dentist office. Despise anything that involves cleaning the mouth: brushing teeth, flossing. I cannot be in the same room with another person who is brushing their teeth. Cringing doesn't surmise the physical reaction I have. I cannot brush Isaac's three teeth. I cannot watch a movie where someone is brushing their teeth. I simply cannot. But I like going to this dentist. She is a character I find infinitely interesting. A case study.

Watching people more efficiently is a task I've sought to do more of of late. And there are some strikingly different and overwhelmingly fascinating characters at work in this world around us. From the man with the golden voice who works at the gas station to the woman slowly and distractedly making my sandwich. Asking why another person is doing as they do and watching, trying to figure out why it is so, is a new thing for me. But I find we are all mostly alike in some ways and vastly different in others. We are all characters.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A Ballgame

Tonight there's a little boy in Cincinnati who will see his first ever baseball game. He'll leave the hospital in plenty of time to get to his heightened view of the goings on. They'll take him by wheelchair through the hospital halls and sterilized wings and out into a world that has not done him any favors. The firefighters, working on their own, will transport him like they do so very often after it seems he's gotten better and been able to go home. They'll make sure he'll get there in time to see the game.

He's learned a lot about the game in the past few weeks. His doctor has taught him everything he now knows. Though, for the doctor, he's had to relearn it himself. There were RBIs, homeruns, ERA, hits, singles, doubles, pitch counts, stolen bases, bunts, sacrifices, curveballs, fastballs and outs. There was a lot to learn for both of them, but they managed together. I know the doctor never forgot these things, never forgot the smell of the stadium, the way the ball sounds on the bat, or how to root for the home team -- I've been to a game with him. We were among the few standing when Pena hit that homerun over the right field wall in a losing effort. There are few better teachers of the game than him. Not spoiled by BABIP, OBP, SLG and a host of other acronyms that do much to increase my enjoyment of the game. There's just a bat, a ball, a glove and a game so great it's actually a wish for his patient. A wish. I wish for good health, we wish for good health; this boy wishes to see a baseball game.

This little boy, young and sick, will see the game from the owner's box, ensuring his health will keep him there for nine innings even if the players he now loves let him down. He'll watch pitch after pitch and ask question after question and eat hot dog after hot dog. His new Reds jersey will never shine brighter, nor ever be worn with so much pride by another soul in this world.

He'll get there in time to see the game. He'll watch baseball tonight. So will the doctor. So will thousands of other people. They'll see the same pitch, the same strike, the same hit, the same win. But they won't have the perspective he'll have. They won't look at the homerun, the single, the out like he will. They won't count the RBI's and the K's like he will, like he's been taught how to. We don't have the perspective he has. Baseball. For the first time.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Common Sense: Common Sense

I'm getting tired of this expression. Especially in the political realm. I'm not sure who's appealing to Common Sense in all things issue related: The Common Sense Medical Plan! But Common Sense tells me someone certainly is. It's the typical, oversimplified nonsense I expect from politicians.

I'm all for Common Sense. Indeed, we could all benefit more if people used Common Sense a little more generously than they/we do. But when it comes to politicians, to people who run governments, is Common Sense all we're missing and therefore all we need to right any sinking ship?

Common Sense tells me if my car won't start and the gas gauge is on empty: I need more gas! What Common Sense does not tell me, and here's the inherent issue with the expression and application, is that my car will then start. There could be a host of other problems that keep the car from starting. Bad gaskets (whatever those are), lose spark plugs (non-sparking spark plugs?), a bad hose (these are all things in cars right?) could all be reason. Heck, the car might not even have an engine. Common Sense allows you to diagnose, not treat.

So I see these adds that appeal to, in their nuanced, subtle ways, Common Sense tells us if we all could have cheap, affordable, government provided health care, everything would be better. for all of us. No. Common Sense tells us only that it would make sense, for everyone to have health care, not that it would be a panacea for the ironically ailing industry. Or, in the interest of unbias, that drilling in ANWAR will alleviate the gas crunch forever.

We need leaders who know cars. Who know that the car needing gas is just one approach to making sure it's up and running. Give me your platform of vague and nuance and Common Sense, of promises enough to fill a tank. But it's going to take more than a sense of the common to fix problems. It will need that, but you're going to have to know a lot more than how to fill up the tank if you want my vote.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Out To The Ballgame

Just came across this asinine survey on SI.com of the best ballparks in the country. I immediately figured to see either Fenway or Yankee Stadium up there as #1. "At least in the top 5" I consented before I clicked on the article -- knowing I'd get worked up with the results. And sure enough I'm worked up. Fenway was 21st; Yankee Stadium 20th. Several of the categories used to tabulate this result are just plain stupid. 

Food: What are we rating here? An evening out for dinner and a show? Did you order the blue cheese on the side of your hot wings and it was put on it? Was the hot dog too small for the bun? Seriously, when you go to McDonalds don't expect Spago. Or do and be disappointed. Just realize you're an idiot for doing so. And realize this is an idiotic way to rate a ballpark.

Team Quality: I can see the argument that this brings about. Who's going to go see a bad team play. But how does this affect the ballpark rating? See Hamlet performed by puppets at the Globe. Think it trite. But you're still at the Globe.

Hospitality: Huh? Like, "I really appreciated how other fans took time to flush the toilet before I entered the stall" hospitality? Seriously? I can use another metaphor here, but the bottom line is how does this affect the ballpark?

Promotions: Here's a metaphor: this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well, second dumbest. The dumbest thing I've heard is "Here's a metaphor: this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Obviously, that's not a metaphor. 

Traffic: So does the team with poor team quality have higher traffic scores and vice versa

For the legitimate categories, Tradition and Fan I.Q., two things that make the simple and large event of attending a baseball game worth doing, Fenway, Yankee Stadium, Wrigley, all ranking high. And I'm not sure what atmosphere means and why the Sox were so low. Nothing beats Landsdowne street pre- and post-game. Also: completely inhospitable as well. 

The Indians at the top I don't deny. That's a great, great place to watch a game. But I deny it based on these stupid categories. Seattle? Really? It's top 10. I've been there. Pittsburgh? On Bobble Head day it was fun, maybe Top 20. My Dad hates the White Sox Stadium so I'm deferring to him there. Great American in Cincinnati is the WORST place to watch baseball. The old Riverfront was much better. 

Anyway, if you're going to rank ballparks, be intelligible and obvious. Use common sense. Don't try and unhinge the system. Fenway, Yankee Stadium (which they are despicably tearing down), Wrigley, Dodger Stadium, Pac Bell, Cleveland/Jacobs Field/Progressive.

Take your food and promotions and "please" and "thank you", I'm watching baseball.

On The Death Of Sports Journalism

There's been some uproar on the Internets today about bloggers and sports journalism. Most of it unfounded. Most of it true. How bloggers distort and dumb-down sports journalism with their ridiculous accusations and opinions and at-the-same-time-lack-of-access. But that point is not for here; I am unequipped at the argument.

What remains the demarcation point for this is the "education" of those bloggers. Have they even read W.C. Heinz? Admittedly, I had not. But, being the erudite Internets searcher I am, I quickly "Googled" him and just as quickly read "Death of a Race Horse"-- apparently his seminal work. And... It. Is. Good. Very. Very. Good. No one writes like that these days -- not daily sports "journalists" anyway. Not journalists for the most part.

One can argue if this is an unfortunate occurrence. A product of our growing curiosity for facts and not the "story". When the story is the facts and the facts are the story, is there much room for notions on the weather? On the murmurs of onlookers? Probably not. But truthfully, how many of these pieces could you read? Sometimes I just want the box score, the injury report, the statement on the game. Sometimes I just want bloviated nonsense to put sports in perspective. And sometimes I want "Death of a Race Horse" to put sports in perspective.

But what I want (aside from "dog and a beer"; obligatory reference there)... what I want is good writing. And that's the issue. Good. Writing. Death of a Race Horse is that. Most of what is sports journalism and/or blogging, is not that.

The thing of it is: Sports, however bad her commentators may be or however good they may be, sports is good writing.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

On The Goings On Before My 28th Birthday

There have been a series of unfortunate events that procured themselves into my life before my 28th birthday. A series of events so horrible, I cannot see as how anything worse could have befallen another human soul.

-- There were 2200+ winners of the Roll Up The Rim promotion at the two Tim Horton's I frequent. I purchased 15 cups of coffee, did not win once. Meanwhile, the Mrs. has won 14 out of the last 15 times in the Mt. Dew promotion.

-- I broke my hand. True, it was my own stupid fault. But if a man cuts off his own foot is he not pityable?

-- I could not nor can I play sports for the next four weeks, and who knows beyond that. Ever try and play golf with a busted hand? And softball's out of the question 'cause it's my glove hand.

-- On my birthday I endured a fever pushing 102, severe exhaustion and a really sore sore throat. Over the course of 48 hrs, I slept for 30+.

-- Ripped three contact lenses. Ripped lenses in the previous 16 years: 2. And ripped my 4th this morning.

-- Rising costs of fuel.

-- The Red Sox dropped 4 straight.

To balance this out, there have been an equally meritorious series of events that may or may not have canceled the following out.

-- Isaac called me Dude.

-- The Mrs. took absolute care of me during my illness and broken arm.

-- This.

-- This was my birthday present (without the people). Yes, I'm old now.

-- The Celtics won 66 games and took the first two of the first round of the playoffs.

-- Got my cast off.

Not a day passed were I didn't realize the relentless grace bestowed upon me and shown to me in my wife and my child. Even when I wanted to be depressed about breaking my arm, there was Isaac not paying it any attention or consideration. When I wanted to be frustrated or angry about circumstances well beyond my control, there was the Mrs to offer, with her smile and touch, perspective on all that is good. And when I was down on never winning a single, solitary thing in that stupid promotion, there, again, was the Mrs flaunting her talents as a twist off winner (Seriously though, it's uncanny how many stupid bottle caps we have scattered throughout the cars and house).

I'm 28 now. Recovering from injuries sustained through stupidity, normal passage of germs, and wounded pride at being unable to win my family (read: me) anything. I have my sense of humor intact. I have my awe at the world around me fully intact. I have people who love me. I have people to love. I have a God that cares infinitely about me.

Being 28 is the next logical step, the next in a coordinated series of progressions that aim to make me smarter, more mature, more loving, more caring and more of a man.


It's up to me to make the most of all of everything.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Pedant Coffee Drinking

I fully recognize it's the #1 thing White People Like. If it becomes a stereotype, then, as I say, stereotypes tend to be stereotypes for a reason. And I am your stereotypical young white person who likes coffee. I am now saddened by the recent Starbucks coffee release. For the most part, I could care less when Starbucks releases a new coffee. But when doing so replaces their Breakfast and House Blends, then I am distraught and must form an opinion if it is truly to be the #1 thing I like (#2 for me is assists. I love assists. When I don't make an assist I get mad and break bones.)

It's apropos that they're calling it Pike's Place. For those have not been to Seattle, Pike's Place is the fish market where they throw fish. There's other stuff there too, but for the most part that's the draw. It's the place where tourists go. Cultivated to the masses for their entertainment. Popularized and hyped. This new brew is much of the same. Tastes much like a popular tourist attraction. It should after all since patrons created it. It's a noon cup of coffee. Something warm to drink - but not very good. Very disappointing but not surprising and not worth the $1.85 for a grande. And this is replacing their very good Breakfast Blend and very decent House blend?

NOTE: I would opt for the Komodo Dragon brew if, at 6am, I didn't think of this movie and this character and the fact that referring to this cup of coffee makes me seem a little too ostentatious.

My name is Aaron. I am a coffee pedant.

But hey, it's one of the best parts of waking up (the not best part is actually having Folgers in your cup. That's just terrible coffee).

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Gone Since November

Every weekend since November, either the Mrs or me have been working or out of town or had friends or family visiting. Since November. So it has been well nicer than nice to have two consecutive days at home as a family. 

It has been well nicer than nice.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Bob Dylan: How Does It Feel To Win A Pulitzer?

So perhaps you've seen the news: Bob Dylan received a special nod from the Pulitzer Prize committee. It's the first time the award has been given to a rock musician. As I read online yesterday, this is interesting given the anti-establishment bend of the genre. It's supposed to be revolting against these high class honors and what they mean. But truthfully, there is no one in the industry more deserving of the literary merit. No one else who's body of work can be considered with the great writers. Dylan is a great writer. Despite what you may think of his voice (the Mrs can't stomach it). Despite what you may think of his music. Dylan is and was lyrically the best. On par with the prosody of the best.

Now there are other musicians who's body of work could be considered deserving of the award. Neil Young comes to mind. But most notably is Bruce Springsteen. The Nebraska album alone is a lyrical collection of short stories. Tom Joad is another astonishing musical panoply of short fiction. If Dylan, I say, then Springsteen.

Anyone else I'm missing?

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

So Very Close

It would've been the first time I'd ever managed to pick the NCAA National Champion. If Memphis would've won. The stakes were higher for them but for me that was all that mattered. That and seeing the Dribble Drive Motion Offense in its glory. But alas, not even the latter was evidenced fully last night; I still stand by its overall effectiveness and superiority to the classical style of basketball because, at its simplest, it makes the game fun to play again. Organized streetball it's called. That's too simple a term though.

It was a good game, not a great one. Billy Packer continues to spout irreversible nonsense and continues to call every Finals of my lifetime. And I have still not picked the National Champion.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Like Father, Like Son: On A Broken Hand

Just like my boy, I've broken a bone. No, he didn't drop me down the stairs. Instead, I succumbed to my own stupidity while playing basketball. I'll leave it at that. Needless to say a broken hand makes life difficult. Taping up my arm at 6am to shower is no easy task. Neither is changing a diaper.

Isaac hasn't noticed. He's paid about as much attention to my injury as he did to his own. He still expects to chase me around the house, wrestle with me and have me give him baths. And while I have been considerably and understandably slowed at tasks around the house and notably at work, his perspective has gone a long way to solidify my own. I am not as adaptable as he was when he broke his leg, that experience is fresh in my mind: the energy and adaptability of a child is truly amazing.

May I be like my son.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Boldly Going: A Confession And Apology

It's no secret that I have always loved science-fiction. From the Chronicles to Lord of the Rings to The Space Trilogy to Star Trek to Star Wars, I have always been intrigued by forays into a realm or world or universe like and un-like our own. However, I'm discerning in my taste for sci-fi fantasy. I'm particular. Snobbish even. I don't do campy. I don't do unrealistic, if that's even possible as a prerequisite for science fiction. It's as difficult for me to explain my taste in science fiction as it is my enjoyment of science fiction.

There is an element to good science fiction, to the Asimov's out there. It consists of the same stuff of a good western movie. It entails part imagination, part familiarity, part possibility, part impossibility, part morality. It should inspire or stir or intrigue a part of us so that we can sense a bond with a story or character even though our worlds have nothing in common. A sensibility about it that allows for the individual in us to see ourselves in this world making the same decisions and mistakes even though we can't begin to imagine ourselves in a world like theirs. Good science fiction should insist upon and instill a hope in humanity.

One reason for the difficulty in ascertaining my enjoyment of it is because I don't think it's taken as a serious genre; not recognized in literature or in film. It's often stereotyped by the "nerds" and with good reason. I am not deluded in this sense -- I don't go dressing up to conventions for example. Of course, the stereotypes associated with the genre belie any credence to it and keep the enthusiasts in the closet for fear of being grouped in with the groupies. Star Trek: TNG is philosophical? Yeah, whatever. But it is. From Mills, to Kant to Plato to Sartre it's there and obvious. Also obvious: pointy ears and phasers and funny shaped beings. And for that reason you probably don't believe me.

Another confession/apology is due. To Eric: I'm sorry I made fun of you back in college when we first met and you were reading that fantasy novel series. Though it was probably campy, I shouldn't have mocked you for reading it! However, it's not like you've read another one since, so...

All this said, I've recently stumbled across a book I feel I should read (to be explained in a later post): Dune. So I'm reading it. And we'll see. Next will be the series my Dad's said I should read for forever: Foundations.

Anyway, I'd like to be able to hash out my sentiment a little better for this genre so feel free interject some thoughts into this post.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Standing Still While Moving Through Texas (Again!)

It's no secret I heart Texas. No secret it is, outside of Massachusetts and Maine, my favorite state in the Union. While my devotion to this state I have now visited only twice is a je nais c'est qua of sentiment, one of those beliefs best felt rather than examined, indulge me for another moment to wax sentimental on my latest experience.

I hyberbolically (and jokingly!) surmised that when Americans fight in wars, they fight for places like Texas. That they do not fight for states like Iowa or Idaho or Ohio or even Delaware -- although it is the nation's first state -- not for the beaches of Malibu or the rain and clouds of Washington state. No. They fight for Texas.

She stretches out for miles like a grandfather reclined on a decaying porch in the sunset. She is old and dusty. Rough, scratchy and faded. Such scenes lead one to believe in experience, that Texas is then an experienced state free of mistakes. Yet she is not. Texas is not the veteran, not the wise sage whom we seek for solace and answers. Texas has the feel of never quite being able to get comfortable, remaining on edge. A place most human. Most imperfect. Most the compilation of all that goes into living every day for a lifetime. And the more she stretches to relax, the more she inclines to be reclined-- like the grandfather on the porch -- the more she creaks at the joints with a deep pain welded by a story or a decision or a mistake or joy from long ago.

It is here that I am most quiet. Most relaxed. Most uncluttered. Like a little boy listening at his grandfathers knees with one ear pressed to his story and the other pressed to the evidence in his knees. My mind stretches as far as the horizon. Through the plain and colorless oceans of fields. Over the hiccups of hills. The watering holes and windmills. Past the animals, who in their youth even seem older than time. There are fences but no one and no thing is fenced in. Natural beauty seems to be the one thing lacking, the one thing that keeps it from competing with the Maines, Wyomings and West Virginias, there is beauty here. Much, much beauty.

To each and everything thing in Texas there is ascribed some story. It is the song that reminds me of Texas: Not Dark Yet by Bob Dylan. I listened to it yesterday as the plane left Dallas. Dylan writes about how "...behind every beautiful thing/there's been some kind of pain." Not to vault Dylan higher than he ought, but we can posit from this that pain leads to beauty.

Texas, that old grandfather with the sore joints in the sunset, is a beautiful state. Texas is a state that has lived and endured a lifetime. And as you drive through, it may look like you're moving merely around difficult overpasses and off-ramps, but you are trekking across the aged plains of Texas, and you are only standing still.

And time is running away.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

On The Trip To Miami

It was our first vacation in 6 years - since the honeymoon to Seattle (minus the overnight baby-moon to northern Ohio). By this I mean the first instance where the Mrs. and I got away. No visiting friends, no visiting family (though did enjoy a rather delightful evening with my sister-in-law), no objectives other than to get away. Well, for me anyway. The Mrs. had to go to work conferences for three days. Oh, and the airline lost our luggage, refused to reimburse us and gave us no timeline for when the luggage would arrive (we spent the first 5+ hrs of the trip looking for places to shop and shopping for clothes and essentials). Call it a vacation then.

But here's the thing about Miami, about the city on the ocean that keeps everything that embodies the ocean away. There are beaches and small streets and massive amounts of sun and breezes. Yet there is no distinctive ocean smell. No quiet serenity of the then ironic crashing of waves. No, Miami is a place wrapped up in itself, not in the place and location it inhabits. Concerned about being the location everyone gets away to then a place to get away to. Thus, a place, by the end, you're not unhappy to leave. We were not unhappy to leave. The time was delightful, relaxing and a welcome respite. But Miami left us restive.

Perhaps it is the type of people we are. People who prefer Seattle to Miami. People who prefer the smell of the ocean to the faint whispers of an ocean odor amongst the collusion of a city on the beach that keeps such things at bay. Yes, Miami, with it's beachfront estates, sunshine and ocean breezes colludes against those of us who only hope to enjoy such things as simple and peaceful as the smell of the ocean and the glow of the sun.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

On A Year: March 12, 2007 - March 12, 2008

Remember this day. It was one year ago. Some 365 days ago. 52 weeks precisely. Countless hours. Untold-about minutes. Time has certainly elapsed. And there just is no way to simply put, to easily say, summarily describe how relentlessly blessed and wonderful life has become.

Scrolling through pictures and videos and memories has been a marvelous delight. Remember when he first smiled. Remember when he first laughed. Remember his first Opening Day. Remember when he rolled over onto his stomach. Remember when he rolled over onto his back. Remember when he started to croll. Remember when he started to crawl. Remember when he first said Momma and Dadda. Remember his first tantrum. Remember his first haircut, bath, outfit, giggle, chuckle. Remember when he broke his leg. Remember when he first danced. Remember his first steps. Remember how his eyes light up something magical and happy at just about every moment.

To measure this time, as we are doing today with baseball cupcakes and caterpillar cakes, with wagons and gloves, to measure it is an immense task; like nothing else. Comparable to no other thing. It's grandness, it's largeness, lies in not recalling when a first happened, or when he did a certain thing, like when he laughed insatiably because he was being tickled. It lies not in remembering the events of the past year. The true realization of the strength and power of today's celebration is remembering a time when this was not so. Isaac has so filled our lives with an indescribable essence that it has overflowed from moment to moment, seeped into the past and flows just as endlessly into the future.

This year has composed moments we can measure and capture and quantify. It has consisted of the one thing beyond measure: Our love that has grown larger than the days, larger than the weeks and months, larger than the mere year that has gone by.

Happy Birthday Isaac.

How I love you.

Monday, March 10, 2008

On Kmart Winters

For the most part, snow and winter and cold here in Columbus resembles Kmart more than anything. Dingy, dark, messy and unclean. Inconsistent. Sure, there's an occasional good buy or deal, like there is an occasional snowfall of four or five inches. But it's rare, and it's still only four or five inches. Winter in Columbus can never make up its mind. Never sure what it wants to be. So we meander through a couple inches of snow here, ice here and then 60+ temperatures there.

For a Bostonian, it's depressing. Gone are the epic snowstorms that dump 12-18 inches in one night. Gone are the true and complete blizzards that trap you in your home. Gone are the purest whites and sharpest colds of a Boston winter morning.

This weekend, the city endured its worst storm ever, which ranks like 15th all-time on my list. On Friday night, in the modicum of over-reaction, weathermen were calling it the Blizzard of '08 (complete with the snazzy graphics). There were seven inches on the ground. Now it snowed another seven over night and then three or four throughout the course of Saturday. Not exactly a blizzard (though according to the National Weather people, it fits the definition of a blizzard -- one that mysteriously doesn't take into account snow-fall rate. It's made of the same intelligence as people who put a stake in a baseball player's average while overlooking entirely OBP, SLG, OPS). Growing up we called this a lot of snow.

Sarcasm aside. It was a formidable storm. It dropped a lot of snow. And it was cold and windy and shoveling was not fun. But being out in it was the greatest of joys. Building a snow fort only to realize I forgot how to build them and then remembering how to build one. Letting Isaac crawl and sit and climb over the walls and around the fort and into the fresh snow. Jumping off the front porch into the powder and cold. Much can be said about the havoc these storms bring. How the cities and businesses shut down out of fear. Perhaps, when these moments are recalled and enjoyed, we can posit that cities and businesses shut down out of joy and fun because it is snowing. Because it has snowed. Perhaps.

For whatever this storm was, in perspective historically for the city and in my own experience, it was a true snowstorm. It was beyond the Kmart I had grown accustomed too and took me back into the familiar street corner stores of my youth (you know, like the one at the beginning of School Ties that was actually shot at the store down the street from my church). One defined not by snowfall totals or wind speeds or levels of emergency, but by snowballs and snow angels and snow forts and snow. Fresh, white and powdery.

And you can't put a price on that.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

A Larger World: Isaac's Foray Into The Backyard

He was used to small places. Accustomed and familiar with the intimate settings of his world. For his part, he was only required to explore the outer reaches of the first floors of the homes he visited. Behind the couches and rocking chairs and cautious looks into the shadows of the underneaths of dressers and beds. It would be a grand occasion when he could climb a flight of stairs or kick and scream happily in shallow waters of white porcelain or blue cement, or gaze quietly into the passing trees through a moving window. But even those occasions were small in stature, never far from an outstretched hand of someone whom he infinitely trusts.

When his world did get larger, he did not get smaller. He did not shrink and cower into the familiar. Instead, he basked in its immenseness, swam in the seemingly infinite depths that were swirling around him in cool yellows of a setting sun and gray and white columns of clouds passing over his head. He would not move forward, out into the sea. But he would not retreat. Call that holding one's ground or a lack of bravery. Call it what you will. And call his name, see if he'll set forth on his feet and hands and chase out into the wide tenets of air and light and grass and mud and towards voices of those whom he infinitely trusts.

The world becoming larger is not an easy event to comprehend. To categorize and classify and assess for any of us. That's not even accounting for the equally daunting task of realizing one's place in this world. And for a child, for one who possess innocence and a sweet laughter, even he saw the need to examine, to not have it go unexamined. A truly admirable and envious and difficult task. One that takes no account for innocence or laughter, but requires them properly. There was no one greater to the task in that moment.

Sitting there in the yard, the grass and light around him, he made some judgements, comprehended some of the matters swirling about: That the world just got infinitely bigger. And that, even though he wasn't ready to leap out and crawl and walk and frolic, he could appreciate those of us who try, like me, his dad. With his open and bright blue eyes, heaven-ward, and a simple smile and hair gently tossed by the breeze, he admired those of us who try to make the world not seem so big and not seem so unfamiliar. He humored my attempts to encourage him and inspire him forward by showing him all the things I thought he could do in this larger place. But he had his own take, emitted surprisingly as he looked about and around: laughter at random, unprovoked intervals.

I think he thought this big world awesome.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Name Dropping: A Visit That Just Happened

As Ohio is the center of the universe today, you can understand why all of the Networks are in town. Seeing as how I work for the CBS one, we've been inundated over the past few days with network people. Moments ago, I shook Katie Couric's hand. Exchanged names -- as if I didn't know who she was. And a simple little banter with the Evening News host. She's quite pleasant in person. Very nice. Did I mention before that, seeing her walk down the hall while looking over my computer, we made eye contact and exchanged smiles and a wave as she walked by -- inches from my computer. Did I mention that? Because it just happened.

Though I did play a subtle joke on her. Realizing she was coming today, it struck me that underneath my sweater, I was wearing a Boston Red Sox shirt. She used to date the owner of the Sox. So I proudly displayed it and a picture of Isaac in Red Sox garb on the computer behind me during our meet-cute.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Light On The Dark Materials

So I've just finished the "His Dark Materials" Trilogy. You know, the one that caused all the uproar during Christmas when the first of the books, The Golden Compass, was released as a movie. Inspired by the "christian" controversy I picked up the books to see for myself. And they are very much heretical if you ascribe to the Christian faith. Mind you, far less heretical than Friends, CSI and any other mainstream visual nonsense we escape with. But that is neither here nor there.

The books, themselves, are not very good. Better than the previous "christian" controversy and book, The Da Vinci Code, from a literature standpoint, be assured. But not that great. The first one, honestly, I thought was brilliant. Imaginative. Large. Challenging. It was good children's literature in the vein of Potter, Dahl, L'Engle, Tolkein in scope alone. But it's ending meandered in order to set the tone for the second book and the riverbed of creativity dried up after that as the books became more about an agenda than children's novels.

I was reminded, as I finished the final book today, of my father's take on a sci-fi movie a few years back, Trip to Mars or something like that (with Lt. Dan!). At the end of the movie they were all holding hands in a circle. He fully expected, in that moment, the characters to start singing Kum Ba Yah. I felt the same way finishing the novel. It held an awfully high opinion of itself as it concluded. And the characters were metaphorically standing around the campfire of their world-view, holding hands, and singing Kum Ba Yah.

A brief example: All the characters marvel at the inter-connectedness of worlds and beings and Dust and particles and life. How slight variations on one world go the opposite in another. They are astounded by the connectedness of life still. In the same breath they admonish the view that it could have all originated from a creator being. We are all connected by luck and chance! Let's sing and hold hands and bask in this view, for it is glorious!

But my curiosity is assuaged. Though, I suspect, the controversy will not be when the second movie debuts next year. But whatever, it'll make for an entertaining movie to escape with. I consistently remain amused by how "christian" controversy is stirred up over books that are not that good.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My I Hate Politics Manifesto

This is a far from a rational opinion. I have not sat down and thoroughly thought any of this through. Think less of me from shooting from the hip, but these are my thoughts. Some of them are tardy -- they would've been funny and relevant a month ago. Alas.

First of all, since when can political parties tell voters that your votes for whom you want to run for President don't count because your state decided to have their primary early? Do political parties wield more power than a state? More power than a voter? And yet people still voted? Equally unfathomable. (I'm planning, also, to have an equally meaningless vote: Band-Aids or Caramel Sauce. You pick. You decide. Those are your two options. 50 points to the winner. The loser must count to 1,000 and run a mile.)

Seriously, how did they get away with this? Why didn't the news media take them to task on it? Maybe they did. In the interest of full disclosure, I don't watch the news.

Secondly, why do I have to vote for one of two people in the end? GW thought little of a two-party system. So do I. I'm sure there's an argument to prove me wrong. To show me that the two-party system is glorious. Just know I will disagree. And probably not respectfully.

Tertiary: nuanced political promises. I tire of them. I am physically weary and cynical of them. I get angry and mean when I hear them. I offend people -- not with what I say, I'm not crass -- but towards whom I say it against, i.e. that I'm tipping some sort my figurative political hat by railing on what exactly "Change" means. I'm not. I despise all nuanced statements equally, almost. Ha!

Will I vote? Yes. For whom? Who knows. I don't care much for anyone in this candidate pool. Make your arguments. Rail against me for abusing a freedom, whatever. Just know I hold my vote very dearly. Not in whom I will cast it for, but that I can cast it. Just don't be upset when I cast it for a) a fictional character; b) a Democrat; c) a Republican; d) Ralph Nader; e) Isaac; f) myself; g) The Mrs.; h) The Red Sox.

Again, shooting from the proverbial hip here. And I did cut my head open last night, so take everything accordingly. Except that I very much do not like politics and that I do, actually, very much like government.

And You Didn't Care If It Came Back

I'm going to reopen Crackerjacks and Peanuts. Not that I closed it. But, whatever. I'm going to express some baseball thoughts as the season goes along over there. Probably about as often as I do over here.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

On A Snow: Finally

We have lived here for three years now. This is the first time I have seen a true snow fall. A light and large and wet snow. One that comes down softly and quietly. One that when the wind blows streaks your vision to nothing more than a white wall, with it's impenetrable thickness that recedes only when the wind dies and there is nothing more than a soft snow falling.

It falls light and large. It has covered the ground and left me longing for days gone by. When school would be cancelled and I would jump off of roofs into drifts deeper than my imagination. Today it was a quick shovel and off to work, stuck in the amalgam of inept drivers and white precipitation turned a muddy brown. Black roads and salted cars. And a white wall moving alongside me in a mocking blur.

Isaac played in the snow today. Crawled around the swingset in the backyard. Scoffed at the snow that fell in and around his mouth. His imagination is still young and light. Though I have no doubt it is large. That beyond his sight, his imagination was able to penetrate the white wall of swirling and tumbling whiteness. That, perhaps, he saw into an ancient past that, when laid out before him, showed him the eras of children and adults playing much like he was. Scoffing and cold, laughing and crawling. But perhaps, in his youth, he merely understood that before him was something very special, and something very much for him to enjoy. Something very simple.

We have lived here for three years now. This is the first time I have seen a true snow fall. A light and large and wet snow. One that comes down softly and quietly. One that when the wind blows streaks your vision to nothing more than a white wall, with it's impenetrable thickness that may never recede for me.

But out there, in my large and amalgamated world, I know where there is a simple, soft snow falling.

A New Perspective on Eden

Having just completed Steinbeck's East of Eden late last evening, there hangs over me still the rush. One thing about finishing a book that is forever exciting is the prospect that finishing it is just around the corner, especially when said book pushes 600-pages. During such times, in the waning moments of the book, a new fury takes over and I read at a ridiculuous rate. It is a fault at times because I read almost impatiently, pining more to "complete" than for the story to complete itself on its own terms -- not on my own. Still, it's a furious urge to resist. For this particular novel, the exercise caught up with me and has left me unutterably winded this morning.
It seems that this particular novel is not considered his greatest. I can grant that argument. It is more refined, more particular and inevitably less a commentary than an actual story. Where Grapes of Wrath was an effort to summarize a movement, a situation, a profound hope in the human spirit -- this novel is about the human spirit itself. What it is and what makes it. How it is formed and molded and changed and yet somehow immutable since the days of Adam and Eve. It contains characters as old as time, as human as all of us; as close and familiar as a look in the mirror. Laughter and love is at its core. The sing-song of the Irish Samuel Hamilton. The cold and menace of Cathy Trask. The wisdom and strength of Lee. The naked and cold and ever human Cal Trask. And the undeniable choice before all of them.
This novel is about characters. It is about a story. It is an old story. One we are all familiar with. Yet one that seems strangely new and fresh and ancient all at once. Like a warm rain in December.
It will now sit on my bookshelf. I will walk by it often and remember it.
I will read it again. Thou mayest, at the very least.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

A Few Small Steps

So the day, hour, moment has arrived. Isaac has taken his first steps. As you can see by the video, he's clearly proud. Mom and Dad are proud as well. Quitely and confidently and exstatically proud. Crawling and rolling over were significant moments; standing up was also a special moment. But walking, venturing out from point A to point B, has been our favorite. Of course we realize that the adventuresome spirit Isaac has will manifest itself ten-fold with this new talent he possesses. That more things will be reached for. More things will be knocked over. More tears and more crying from falls and slips and collisions. But there will also be inevitable moments of accomplishment. Of adventure. Of opportunity for laughter. Of "look-what-I-can-do Mom"s and "Try-and-catch-me Dad"s.

So in the few small steps he took last night, there lies giant footprints of happiness.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

On Your Condolences

This has happened before. Only it was much, much worse; though this is still pretty bad. That's the brighter side to my current melancholy; rather, the excuse. It's not abject depression like in 2003 with the Red Sox. It's a more like a numbness. We've suddenly been forced to look up and see how large the universe actually is. That the immortality of perfection and a win tonight was never as close as we thought it was, no matter what we tell ourselves -- or how Russell Crowe makes us feel. We have always been small after all. And in that lies the numbness and melancholy of a reality we thought we could transcend for a moment, for a game.

So if you feel like feeling this feeling I have, if you care to offer to me a "Sorry, man. That hurts!" Well, you can "Stuff your sorry's in a sack." Because here's the deal with losing: it also makes no sense. And don't tell me it's just a game. Because it most conveniently, and undoubtedly is. There is no debate there. Yet losing is always also losing.  

The universe is a large, large place. I have just now had my head lifted. 

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Unlocking the Magic



Enjoy Isaac's First Oreo.

He did.

Exiled and Imperfect: Thoughts on Beauty

So I've been reading several books of late, among them: Jacques Maritain's essay Art and Scholasticism -- which you can read online here (the one benefit being the hyperlinked footnotes; and endlessly better than the large print book I mistakenly ordered and now possess). It's a rich and influential essay, empowering the likes of O'Connor, Percy and several more Catholic writers in the middle of last century. I recommend it with the caveat that it is not an easy read, not simple and thoroughly challenging.

One of the more salient discourses I came across is the the fifth chapter on Art and Beauty. Maritain has taken great pains to put into words the aesthetic and unquantifiable weight of Beauty -- what it is and what it represents, to the artist first, and to the perceiver of art. I was most struck by the notion that Baudelaire presents:

"it is this immortal instinct for the beautiful which makes us consider the earth and its various spectacles as a sketch of, as a correspondence with, Heaven."

I like this notion. That beauty, and what is beautiful, is a sort of window into Heaven. I remember a great speaker, Dennis Kinlaw, in chapel during college who talked about this idea. He said that if there were to be a Heaven, and all it's classical notions of being greater than this world, we should, at the very least, expect it to leak into this world. Expect to see evidences of it here and there and around us. Little windows into the great, wide expanse of a greatness we cannot very well handle in our present world (cf. Chesterton's take on the levity of angels).

But more than the windows we can look through it is our desire, the artists desire to search and seek and pine for these glimpses. Baudelaire goes on to say the following:

"We have still a thirst unquenchable. thirst belongs to the immortality of Man. It is at once a consequence and an indication of his perennial existence. It is the desire of the moth for the star. It is no mere appreciation of the Beauty before us, but a wild effort to reach the Beauty above.... And thus when by Poetry, or when by Music, the most entrancing of the poetic moods, we find ourselves melted into tears, we weep then, not... through excess of pleasure, but through a certain petulant, impatient sorrow at our inability to grasp now, wholly, here on earth, at once and forever, those divine and rapturous joys of which, through the poem, or through the music, we attain to but brief and indeterminate glimpses."

The moth for the star. Not just a flicker of a flame on a candle, a burning, roaring fire, a conflagration of a forest, a STAR. The moth for a burning, firing, flaming, bundle of gas and beauty and danger. The moth for a star. So may we seek after beauty in and around.

Friday, January 18, 2008

My People And Your People: Scheduling

Schedules are funny thing; you hardly ever think about them, take the time to realize your on a schedule. But we are. We operate, not in the banal and mundane effects of adhering to a schedule, out of a routine of which we are mainly unawares. Meals, bathroom breaks, snacks, T.V., commutes, events: they all go according to set times and dates; and so go our own lives. I suppose I always, somewhere, recognized this truism; but it never affected me until this month.

Out of the graciousness of my heart I agreed to shift my work schedule three days a week. Don't see me as too altruistic however when I tell you that the shift allows me to train on directing higher profile things that inevitably give me a greater and newer skill set. Still, I'm working nights for three days. In doing this, I miss my most coveted time with my family.

I suppose I never realized it. How much dinners and baths and story time and the house silences at bedtime really means to me. How special and crucial it is to my makeup. How apart of my daily schedule it is. But for three days a week I miss out on that.

However, I do get the ever-fantastic mornings with Isaac: where he is arguably at his best and funniest and most energetic. Where the car-rides, shopping trips, babysitters, other people, phone calls and meals have not gotten in the way. When he has awoken from whatever fantastic dream danced through his head with laughter and excitement: "It's a new day, Daddy! Good Morning!" That's what it feels like he says to me while he is shaking his crib as I enter the room while the sleep shakes from his eyes. And then he sits down and laughs as I go to pull him from his bed. Just laughs, giggles and smiles. Looks up at me with excitement. This is how we begin the day.

And when I go to work, I look forward to the mornings. But I miss the evenings too. The incessant water-splashing that soaks us; the running around from one activity to another to stave off sleep; the talking and telling us about his day in a language that is so clear to him.

So this schedule goes for a month. And then I will miss the mornings again.

But life, no matter the schedule, is never routine. This I have loved most of all. Despite how routine we need to make things for Isaac and our benefits; how things need to be set in schedules with times and places and calculations. It is in this, this management of life, that the most delightful freedom occurs. Call it a paradox, but it remains. The trick, talent, necessity, I suppose, is to see not the time, but the Time.

And it will make all the difference.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Confession: A Lack of Books

Seems every January I discover the joy of reading anew; before it is sullied and sodded over by the perennial progressions of life. The thirst for flipping pages comes almost as fast as one can digest the previous page. It's onset is voracious and at once satiable provided the author, the work and the coffee is good. And here we are again, January 2008.

A great difficulty -- and perhaps apropos -- is the lack of a bookstore in Grove City. Our previous home proffered at least three within 2 minutes. Now it takes 20+ to the nearest one, a Barnes and Noble just past the boundaries of work. Herein lies the rub: I ventured past my normal exit for the oasis in the desert of my thirst only to leave defeated and deflated. I'm looking for Augustine's Confessions which I have not yet read (City of God, yes; Confessions, no). There was one noticeable copy in the Christianity section, a small print, small bound, fancy smancy covered booklette that could slide into my back pocket. It looked more appropriate for a coffee table or coaster than as the great work of art it is. There were no other copies. Not even the assistance of the clerk could help. Even after I explained to here my snobbishness in wanting a copy bigger than my hand, one I could curl up with and perhaps into if it were big enough, not one that required me to peer at. She understood; I think. But our search on computers and by hand in other sections like Philosophy and Literature found nothing other than that. Then I checked the biography section on a whim -- and there it was: a hardcover, Burgundy coated immaculate copy. I was elated. Until I found out it cost $30.

Now hear my hypocritical stance: I demand bookstores carry books like these and not biographies of Lorraine Bracco or 101 Cups of Spirituality that go great with a side of Chicken soup and fluff (fluff being the stuff on most of the shelves in the Christianity section). But I also demand they be inexpensive and refuse to buy them if they are not, thus decreasing the revenue they account for thus resulting in their not being ordered and stocked.

$30 though? I can get it better somewhere else. Just not in Grove City.

So for now, in the stark coldness of my desert, under this ironic January sun, I am without a book. That is my confession: I feel a little incomplete and starved, wrong even, but unwilling to see past my own palette and wallet to satiate this desire.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

On The Holiness of Time

Time is not my friend; Time is not on my side. For the last two months, I have longed for the stretches of time where it just goes by -- where the clock peacefully passes. Instead, our lives have been one thing after another -- some magnificent, others magnified and difficult. But now the proverbial clearing lies under our feet. And time is the view before us.

My mind, previously filled with tasks-at-hands is unwinding, slowly. There are still chores and tasks and requirements, but not enough to fill each and every minute of the day. Turning the pages of a book and sipping hot coffee are not guilt-laden exercises for either of us -- they are pleasures.

There is the laughter I can enjoy on his time with a growing admiration and pride-- a laughter that has changed my life. There are the simple, quiet and tangible moments that are back. The evenings of music and books and conversation. Breakfasts and dinners that thrive. There is a sacredness now in the moments again.

Whether this creates in me further food for thought in this space, I do not promise. I make no resolutions. I give you no hope. I propose no direction other than the one already taken. And while there is much to write about along those lines, I am finding I have little to say for it.

Instead I am finding a time again I had had to forsake for life. Had to put it up and away like the decorations of the seasons. Walking past it in the mornings and evenings and occasionally taking it off the shelf long enough to catch a breath. But now she has come down from being admired and sought to being experienced and felt. Like bagels; like coffee; like meat and potatoes; like worn pages of typeset; like a soft voice echoing into the night; like the laughter and smile of the most innocent among us.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Does He Know This?

Trust me, we've told Isaac his cast is no longer there. And it's not that I think he doesn't believe us, or that maybe we're out of touch parents; maybe it's his first act of rebellion. Call it Adorable Anarchy then.

Monday, December 03, 2007

The Chewbacca Defense

It's called the Chewbacca Defense. It's not Socratic in any way. But then again how brilliant was Socrates: He drank the hemlock in the end. Anyway, it accurately sums up the inanity that is college football and the BCS:

Ladies and gentlemen in this supposed BCS controversy, the BCS would certainly like you to believe LSU deserves a BCS Championship appearance and Missouri, Oklahoma, USC, and Hawaii do not. And they make a good case. Heck, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, look at Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with the BCS? Nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with the BCS! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm trying to explain the BCS, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense!

And so you have to remember, when you're in that BCS rankings post deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed masses that want their team in the National Championship game, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must allow Missouri, Oklahoma, Hawaii and USC a BCS Championship slot!

The defense rests.