Enter into modern looking coffee shop. Lights are dimmed low. The room, divided by couches and recliners, is scattered with magazines and tables. Obscure, but easy going music plays underneath.
Rick, the hero of the story, gets in the cue (queue) that has formed of well-dressed twenty-somethings.
Rick peruses the menu, spotting the item he wants. Quietly he taps his foot to the music. He glances at his watch, noting how much time has passed. He is a little impatient. Finally, it's his turn.
The clerk/coffee shop worker, in her mid-20s, attired in casual, but official looking garb, greets him. Her name is Susan.
Susan: We're glad you could join us. We're so glad and happy you've decided to come here.
Rick (taken aback, but warmed by the greeting) : Yes. Well. Yes. Good to be here too. Um. Well. I'd like to order...
Susan (interrupting): Before we can give you your coffee, allow me to explain how our drive-thru works.
Rick (quixotically): But I'm not using the drive-thru. I'm here now.
Susan: And we completely recognize this fact. That's why we're going to skip the directions on how to get here. Obviously you're here. But we would like to go over our drive-thru with you.
Rick (slowly): Okay.
Susan: Here's how our drive-thru works. First, you pull up to the section marked "Drive-Thru" in your car. Then you will see several headers regarding our different items on the large and very colorful menu full of cool fonts and pictures. From there, for example, there's the coffee section which, if you choose that, has our different flavors of coffee we're currently offering. Then, there is the tea section -- if you want tea-- we certainly have just as many flavors for tea lovers.
Rick: Look, I really would just like...
Susan: Sir. This is important. After you have perused our different headers on our main menu. You will be able to speak with an attendant who will greet you with their name. They're one of our many workers who are employed here at the coffee shop.
Rick (amusingly): If they don't say hello do I get a free coffee.
Susan (unamused): After they greet you. Then you can place your order by speaking into our state of the art two way intercom system that works much like the speaker phone on your home phone.
Susan: After you have done this you can pull forward in the drive-thru, collect your drink, and pay. It's all quite easy. We've made it as user-friendly as we can. Do you have any questions?
Rick: Can I order my coffee now?
Susan: In a moment. First, do you have any questions about our drive-thru?
Rick: Uh. No. Think I'm okay on that. But I'll be sure to remember these entirely useful and instructive directions as soon as I use the drive-thru again.
Susan: That's wonderful sir. I'm so glad, again, that you're here and I'd be glad to take your order now.
Rick: Large Coffee. Black.
This is an allegory (is it an actual allegory if you have to say it's an allegory?) after a church experience the Mrs, me and a friend had yesterday. Trying a church closer to the house, we attended on good recommendations. In the middle of the atmospheric service, and that's all I'll say about that, we sat through a ten-minute tutorial on how to use their website. In the middle of the service. Ten minutes.
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2 comments:
nice.
side note: I didn't know queue could be spelled cue, but it can. Learn something knew everyday.
Interesting part of the service...I like that idea. After that they can teach me how to read and understand the Bible. Will that take ten minutes, my time is valuable. If they do it before the plate gets passed around, I sneak out and not have to pay a time.
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