Who is Karim Garcia?

In case you don't get the title reference, I refer you to the infamous SportsCenter interview following the 2003 season. But, more importantly, Game 3 of the ALCS that year when Pedro hit Garcia, which led to a brawl, which led to Zimmer getting tossed...down that is, which led to those comments.

Anyway, all those references because tonight Pedro's back at Fenway. In a Mets uniform no less. And that moment was one of my favorite Pedro moments during his Sox tenure. Unfortunately, nobody at work or in my family knows what I am talking about. And it doesn't help that I couldn't, oddly enough, find any video of the interview on YouTube.

Let me, however, take a moment to tell you who Pedro Martinez is. Pedro was one of the best pitchers in MLB history. From the late 90s to the early part of this decade, there was no one greater. No. Not one.

Yr W L IP SO ERA WHIP
1998 19 7 233.7 251 2.89 1.091
1999 23 4 213.3 313 2.07 0.923
2000 18 6 217.0 284 1.74 0.737

Just look at those stats. But what the stats don't quite tell you was what it was like to watch him pitch back then. Or how I could watch all those games over again. Every one.

The thing of it is: He may or may not be great tonight. I wouldn't put it past him to unlock the magic, though. Not Pedro.

An A Posteriori Argument For Soccer

I came across this only after I posted the last time. And this, once again, proves the philosophical superiority of soccer. And even more so the superiority of not scoring versus scoring (see previous, a priori, argument).

The deduction from this: that sports are a game of wits.

ENJOY THIS LINK!

The thing of it is: I'm a little upset that Kierkegaard didn't make the roster. The Germans could've used his emotional edge.

A Score To Settle

I've failed to understand this argument against soccer: They don't score enough (immortalized in this clip).

First of all, it assumes that scoring is a good thing. And that's where I begin my defense. With the premise that not scoring is as good as scoring, if not better. What does scoring signify? Let's say an offensive success and defensive failure. And not scoring would be the opposite. But not really. A team can succeed offensively and not score, whereas a team cannot succeed defensively and allow a score. For example: a base hit in baseball is an offensive success (getting on base) while at the same time a defensive success (the hitter was not allowed to score).

Too much scoring is inherently a bad thing. Both teams, become, in a sense, fed up with scoring. It becomes too easy and the plot of the game is weakened. Much like a movie with too much action. It just gets old.

But in a low scoring affair, be it in soccer or in baseball, there exists and epic struggle between two sides. Both desperately wanting to score and not wanting the other side to at the same time. And thus the story exists, the characters move about and the plot is twisted and revealed at the final whistle.

As an American, stop placing such an impetus on scoring. Place it on the struggle. Place it on the effort to score. Because it is not simple. It is not easy. And when you see that, you see something truly exciting to watch.

The thing of it is: You can watch ESPN360 live throughout the rest of the World Cup. That means all the games. As long as you have internet access.

Need To Change Everything

There's not much to say following the U.S.'s loss to Ghana and subsequent elimination from the World Cup. I remember playing soccer better than when I was in U12's. In fact, my sisters could tell you about videotape that exists of yours truly in U8's. Apparently, I was running all over the field, slide tackling, stealing the ball and scoring multiple times. I was 7. But it was more inspired soccer than what the U.S. showed up with. How do you NOT get up for a game this big?

Anyway, as is the case every 4 years, I have to find a new team to root for. It won't be Togo, though, that I know. I can't convince myself to pull for a team that makes me feel like I need to conjugate a verb.

I'm going to have to pull for France or England. And I'm only pulling for France because of Thierry Henry. He's impressive. England's a more logical pick, though, because they're at least into the knock-out round. But I can't stand the tall guy up front. All he knows how to do is be tall. And do the robot. Kind of.

The thing of it is: If any of the remaining countries were a pallindrome, I'd pull for them. I love pallindromes.

A Different World

So I don't think that after Dwayne Wade's NBA title, too many people will mistake him for this guy.

Honestly though, I'm having a difficult time not describing Dwayne Wade as the second coming of Michael Jordan. His Finals performance made me a better basketball player just by watching him (Case in Point: I calmly knocked down a clutch, basketball winning free throw Monday at a Kings Island Carnival Basketball Shot Game. And what basketball did I win? Miami Heat. Which I might just sell on eBay under the auspices of: "Dwayne Wade inspired").

Constantly, though, I need to remind myself of what I call my presidential excuse: That we have no perspective in the present, save what is directly in front of us and directly behind us. That history is the judge.

The thing of it is: History is written by the victors. And to the victors go the spoils: DWAYNE WADE IS THE SECOND COMING OF MICHAEL JORDAN. Neither of whom hold a candle to the Basketball Jesus (Phew! Dodged that lightning bolt!).

Greatest U.S. Performance Since 1812

Got done watching the U.S. take it to Italy this afternoon. Sure, I was supposed to be working...and I was...but this is the World Cup. It happens once every four years. I work 5 times a week.

Well, you can't comment on the game without offering an opinion on the referring. Let's just say Will Ferrell's got the idea. Can't say I didn't want to kick the ref and leave him screaming. But, somehow, despite ALL that, (And by ALL that for those that didn't watch the game: I mean two red cards against the U.S. leaving them down a man) the U.S. still showed up. They rallied. They attacked. They pressured. And they played beside themselves (read: The Divine Madness). They took it to a world power in Italy, and took it to them with one man down. It was a glorious day for U.S. soccer. And it did more for the sport than Ferrell did.

Now, many people, like a co-worker, believe that anything that ends in a tie is not a sport. I don't counter very well to that. It's obvious that those in the U.S. who fail to see the significance of this sport, world-wide, drastically underestimate it's pull. And they seem to forget that patriotism can be a very positive idea. One that can be respected by other patriots in other countries. And in soccer, in the World Cup, there is nothing purer in form or in substance, than patriotism.

Except a 1-1 tie with Italy.

The thing of it is: Yes. I'll say it: I'm proud to be an American! Great job U.S.

Those Michigan Fans

I dutifully ask you to check out this link. It's, by far, one of the funnier stories I've come across. Clearly, this is the reason you don't propose unless you are sure that she is going to say yes. But love makes you do some crazy stuff.

The thing of it is: I proposed the morning after a snow-storm. And it was already cold enough.

It's All Relative For Sports Fans

It's good to be a sports fan. We've evolved...at least I hope we have. For instance: last night I watched an epic game between the Twins and Red Sox. Sure it didn't end well, but man what a game. Then after the game, I flipped on the sound to the Heat/Mavs game. Again: Man what a game!

So here's how sports fans have evolved: before, we would spend endless hours today debating which sport was better based on these two case studies. But to do so, we would appeal to some objective truth that would classify one sport as being better. But there really isn't any objective truth, at least, no objective standard of truth that we can appeal to. Here's my point: the new sports fan is a post-modernist. He realizes that you really can't compare basketball to baseball, so he's left to enjoy both sports. And that's what I did last night. I enjoyed the Sox game, even though they lost and then watched an awesome Heat comeback. I implore you to to become post-modernist sports fans. Stop trying to tell me one game was better than the other because in doing that, you must tear down both games, and you no longer have the focus on what was good about them. Just enjoy the games.

The thing of it is: I won't recap the games for you because I don't think I could do justice to the narrative character of each one. And that's what else is great about sports. Each game is a story, with characters, struggles, plots and plot twists that no great writer, no matter how great, could ever pen.

One Game Changes Everything

The World Cup. Once every 4 years it's played. This time around: It's in Germany. It starts today.

Now I realize, for most of us, soccer is not a validated sport here in America. And I know everyone realizes that. But this event is huge. The competition, the pride, the skill on display is unlike any other event in the world. If you even remotely like sports, then watching the World Cup will make you more than a casual enthusiast. When you realize more's at stake than money. When countries are involved, when wars are halted, when a world unites, if that doesn't fire some type of adrenaline rush in you to watch this thing, then you're this guy (and by that I mean dead, not a terrorist. Geez.)

And I know I sound like an ESPN ad (which by the way ESPN.com has a sweet Flash Player set-up for every team you need to check out along with those much heralded ads).

The thing of it is: By far, this is the U.S.'s best shot at the Cup. Ever. I'm not saying they'll win, I'm just saying there's a chance. And that's my pitch for you to watch the World Cup.

So You're Saying There's A Chance

So I'm trying to look forward to this year's NBA Draft. The Celtics have the 7th pick overall. Seems pretty good right? Then I find stuff like this on the internet.

And, to top it off, I'm reading about rumblings the Celtics want to take JJ Redick with the pick. Redick? Really? Playing in Boston? As a Celtic? I thought Dan Dickau was supposed to be the next Bird.

Question: Will JJ change his name like former teammate Jason Williams? And if so, would JJ become his pseudonym?

But Redick could succeed in the NBA. IF a team would run a specialized offense around him to get him free for his killer shot. Just look at what the Pistons did with Rip Hamilton. He couldn't find an open shot with a GPS system. But the system he's in makes him an All-Star.

Now, check that earlier link. Click on the 7th pick on the chart that breaks all the MVPs and All Stars per pick down. One of the eventual All-Stars taken with the 7th Overall Pick: Rip Hamilton.

The thing of it is: I think the C's trade up and get Morrison at #3. Please.....Pretty, Pretty Please.

Games I Used To Play

An addendum to this previous post. I was reminded last night while watching some guy name Melky get jiggy on a homerun ball by Manny in the Sox-Yanks game. As a result, we ended up losing the game. But it's plays like that you've just got to tip your hat. You gave it your best shot and so did they, and they just ended up on top. Still, I hate the Yankees.

Anyway, so back to that addendum. My brother and I used to play a game as kids; one we invented. We called it: Awesome Catches! Essentially it involved throwing a tennis ball so it would just clear the fence in our backyard. And then it became the responsibility of the fielder to "rob" the ball from going over. Much the same as what that guy named Melky did last night. And like any good game... it evolved into not only "robbing homeruns" but also throwing the ball in such a way as to force the fielder to dive for it. We felt by doing that as well, we were still being true to the title of the game.

The thing of it is: We stopped playing after Hurricane Bob destroyed our neighbors fence. But I'd still call in sick to play it any day.

Driver Found.

I am the victim of 10 years of successful advertising by Volkswagen. Below is a reasonable facsimile of our (read: my) new, used car. It's an '03 Jetta. Surprisingly, it was priced exactly the same as a comparable Honda Civic and Toyota Corolla. And, it's just a little more fun.

Three things I don't like:

1. The Candy Apple Red color. Reminds me of my first Fender Stratocaster Guitar.
2. The Interior Light Colors: Lilac. Lilac? A shade of purple and blue, complementing the Candy Apple Red interior lights.
3. The cup holder. When it slides out, it covers the radio.

As you can see, these are all cosmetic things. I can be petty. And, I'm over it. Overall, the car runs very smoothly, and very quietly and is in very good condition.

The thing of it is: We really liked the Corolla. It's just the salesman was WAY too pushy.

Games People Play

Along with a friend, I recently invented a new game. And then, we invented a new game on top of that. It wasn't much, but kept us busy for hours. You'd be amazed at what you can do with bubble guns. Like, for instance, create the world's largest bubble.

But that gets me thinking how much fun it is to create. Though, in the true definition of the word, what we did, and what we normally do, isn't exactly ex nihilo (because I stand atop the shoulders of giants). I do think, though, it's a lost art. Whether it be from creating games to play on porch at a birthday party to coming up with that innovative and new idea, we need to be doing more of it.

The thing of it is: I'm not sure that new and innovative idea is out there. I think creating the world's largest bubble might have been the last of them.

What This Word Means Ever!

Hoped you checked out the Spelling Bee last night. I happened to catch the end of it, but I'm told it didn't have any moments like this.

And what's more interesting to me is not the talent (?) of the contestants, but the definitions of the words they're spelling. Take for example tmesis, used in the final round (and spelled correctly!):

Tmesis. Separation of the parts of a compound word by one or more intervening words. Tmesis.

Does this ever happen? I mean, you're writing a sentence, and you're thinking, hey, I need to employ tmesis here. That happens? Really?

The thing of it is: I noticed they stopped allowing kids to ask to have the word used in a sentence. Probably using words like icteritious and heiligenschein in sentences creates to much of a weltschmerz among the contestants.

You Probably Think This Post Is About You

So I'm now in the market for a new car. I like these two models the best (used of course). But last time I went shopping for a car, we ended up with this. Not a bad little car at all. And named after the dolphin (It's no longer produced anymore :( ). One thing that will not be a part of my car are vanity plates. Sure it's fun to try and figure out what they're saying on a long road trip, but is it necessary?

In countries, like South Africa, license plates are simple. Numbers and letter represent what region of the country the vehicle and owner are from. Here in the U.S., "MY Z3" tells me, what, I guess, I took for granted when I saw the Z3 -- that it was yours. I'm glad that vanity has a role over here. Otherwise, I'd think things like: "Hey, that's not your Z3 you're driving!" or "Wait. Isn't that my Z3!"

The thing of it is: when I was a kid, after November 20, 1993, I wanted my first license plate on my car to say 41-39 BC.

To the Mrs.

Over the weekend, the Mrs. graduated from medical school. Officially becoming a "doctor-lady". I'm proud of her. Very proud. There's something to be said about reaching a goal. It's more than that sense of accomplishment. I get that when I have a good hair day. It's something much higher, much grander than us.

For many things in life we succeed at, or look forward to succeeding at, the moment the goal is reached rarely lives up to what we'd hoped. But there are times the moment holds. When the weight and work of four years of medical school and the dream of becoming a doctor you've held for years is retained in that single instant. And that's what I felt for her this weekend. Seeing her recieve her degree was worth everything. Worth all the sacrifice, all the uncertainity, all the difficulty. The moment held. And I wanted her, and you, to know that.

Really. Keep Talking.

In the past three weekends, I have been to three graduations. One for a college degree; one for a masters degree; and one for a doctor's degree. And in doing this I have had the opportunity to listen to numerous speakers at this ceremonies. As a result, I've compiled some helpful tips for you, the reader, if you should ever be a graduation speaker.

Here's What You Don't Do:

1. Speak longer than 15 minutes. Not only is your audience not there to listen to you, but even if they were, odds are their attention span wouldn't even be this long. Better shorten this to 10 minutes. If you can't say it concisely, you probably shouldn't say it.

2. Use metaphors. Now I'm not discounting metaphors. But, as C.S. Lewis (a master of the metaphor) and I'm sure many others have said, there is a point where even the best metaphor breaks down. Read: there's no such thing as a perfect metaphor. If you must, mention it once...maybe twice. And here's what you don't metaphorize(?): a house, tool belt, tree, car -- really anything that has parts. It doesn't make you appear smart when you use a metaphor about something that has parts. Really. It's not that difficult.

3. Speak in a different language through a translator. This should be self-explanatory. But if you do use this method, make sure the translator speaks your language.

4. Talk about your successful career. Graduates are under enough pressure to succeed. They've just spent thousands on school. They're in debt. And if you talk about yourself and your success, your just bragging, not encouraging.

As for what you should do, I don't have any ideas. I've sat through some pretty rough speeches over the past three weeks. I'd suggest quoting a poet, like T.S. Eliot (especially a selection from "The Four Quartets"). Perhaps, to offer perspective to the graduate, quote G.K. Chesterton in this manner: Graduate, do not think of yourself bigger than you ought. No matter how large, how successful you may become "you will always be small when compared to the nearest tree."

Again, just some helpful hints. And if you're getting an honorary degree. It usually comes after a speaker who's droned on for too long already, and no one at the school knows who you are, therefore you have no right to go on for more than a minute. This is especially true if you're not there to accept the degree, but send remarks. Not only does that appear that you don't consider the honor important enough to attend, but in doing so, you forfeit any right to have said remarks go on longer than 30 seconds.

Veni, Vedi, Da Vinci

Well the much-anticipated movie arrives in theaters today. Ebert's review was favorable. Entertainment Weekly...not so much. Can't say I put much stock in the reviews of the latter, however. But if you've read the book, you can determine for yourself how good the movie will be. After all, it was written for the big screen. What? You mean it wasn't a literary masterpiece? No. MacGyver could write a better book with a shoelace, matches and stick of gum. (The gum, mind you, to hold those intricate storylines together.) This is not to say I didn't enjoy the book. I read it rather quickly (about 2 days). And I enjoyed it. But I liked it for what is was. Like I enjoyed "Green Eggs and Ham". And I know I'll like the movie. But, please. Stop referring to this novel as the benchmark for fiction writing.

As for the controversy surrounding both the movie and the book (whether or not you buy into the fiction) Ebert said it best:

"This has the advantage of distracting them from the theory that the Pentagon was not hit by an airplane."

The thing of it is: if you want a good, literary masterpiece that's veiled as a detective/suspense novel, check out Matthew Pearl's, "The Dante Club". And, yes, I'm plugging him because his new book, "The Poe Shadow", hits shelves Tuesday.

No DH in Sudoku!

So apparently, pitchers get to hit in this version. What about the DH? Does it cease to be the pure form of the game if the DH is added? I'd argue adding the DH is good for the game of Sudoku. It would create more scoring and increase the fan attraction to the game.

The thing of it is: I wonder if there's a Purpose Driven Life version of Sudoku. Maybe a WWJD version. If not, knowing the sub-culture, there will be.

Saving Gas Money

So here in the newsroom, we're constantly doing stories about rising gas prices. And we're constantly being asked to find a new angle to the story. Here's one:

"With rising gas prices, NASCAR could be looking into alternative fuel costs. The Indy Racing League is already leading the way by beginning a two-year transition to ethanol."

But for a more in-depth report, I'd love the chance to examine why Major League Baseball got rid of these. Was it because of the fuel scares of the late 70s? Too much foreign competition? Or is it just more fun to see a pitcher sprint in from the bullpen, pulling up about around second base with a hamstring injury?

The thing of it is: I'd probably have to interview the Philly Fanatic. But I wouldn't interview Wally the Green Monster. He doesn't exist.