Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Debating The Debates

I have grown weary of these debates. People can't sit through a three-hour baseball game that ends dramatically and magically with a play at the plate but they can listen to a debate for 1.5 hours? And you can't speed up it how long it takes to watch it by using the DVR. I understand the historical place of these debates. In my cursory approach to this opinion, I think the purpose of these things was to allow people to hear the candidates answer questions together in an official setting where many Americans could view them for the first time. I've seen John McCain more times this morning than the Mrs. in the past week.

I have several suggestions to liven up the "debate":

1. Have a Minority Report/CNN type of plasma board where the candidates can shuffle in and out evidence to back up their points and refute their opponents. Make it a full blown media presentation. You can't tell me watching McCain and Obama going Tom Cruise on a piece of technology wouldn't be exciting. Bottom line: It's the 21st Century. People just talking boringly doesn't work.

2. Allow for interruptions. Perhaps the most applicable and easily integrated of my "ideas". If McCain is going on about something Obama doesn't like, let Obama interrupt him. Step on his toes. Raise his hand like a kid in class. Enough with the "gentlemanly" approach. It needs to be a little more cutthroat during these things.

3. Lifelines. I know it's the running joke for the brilliance that is Tina Fey, but why not allow them to "Call the VP". How about Polling the audience: What do you think I should do? And make them give three possible answers and let the audience vote. It's immediate; it changes the flow of the stream of boredom these things have rapidly become. Even ask for a different question.

4. Allow the moderator to moderate. Let them call fouls on the debate if he/she is just wrong or doesn't answer the question. Maybe give them a whistle.

5. Ask a stupid question. Just to see how they respond. And don't make it the same on to both otherwise the other has a chance to gauge and think about the opinion. For instance: "Why did God make the platypus?" or "How many licks does it take you to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" or "What is your favorite book?" or "What's the capital of Montana?" or "Given the economic downturn, can we make stock market be more like the stock market in the game of Life?"

6. Get a comedian to moderate. Seriously. These things are comedy gold. Gold, Jerry. Gold.

The thing of it is I know debates are immensely important. That the job of president is immensely important. That I should watch these things. But the truth is debates are no longer what they were because the winners are determined by "amount of eye contact" and not arbitrary barometers like "substance", "coherence", "affluence". These debates are pomped up, dumbed down, recycled mumbo-jumbo we hear everyday on CNN, FOX News, The View.

So I read the transcript. It's the old, anti-deluvian DVR.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

These are not debates, period.

The show last night was not even a townhall style forum.

The moderator was/is a total disgrace.

Forget Gold Jerry and it was more in line with a master of your domain.

sara* said...

Tina Fey is brilliant... Perhaps they should add a talent portion. It would certainly liven things up.


GO SOX! (I was at game 4 by the way... it was awesome.)